Julie,

It is not unusual for someone who has quit smoking to be asking these questions.  They are in fact very common.  When,  we all want to know when.  If you look upon smoking cigarettes as something desirable, something that you have given up reluctantly then perhaps the "temptation to smoke" will never go.  Nicotine addicts, like all drug addicts, must recognize that addiction is a disease that is never cured in the sense that we are no longer addicted.  We were once able to accept the side effects of smoking despite the health consequences inorder to avoid withdrawl, now, as recovering addicts, we accept that we can never smoke again if we want freedom from our addiction.  If we are smart, we look to practice enjoying our life without the burden of withdrawl prevention, not longing for the drug which, through denial, once threatened our well being.

 

The choice to smoke or not is always yours.  If you choose recovery over active addiction, then why look longingly after a drug delivery method that 2 months ago you were probably wishing you could rid yourself of.  Most often, difficult times are brought on by ourselves, though in the beginning we don't recognize that.  What starts off as a passing thought about a cigarette is caressed and coaxed and embelished upon until we are foaming at the mouth and wondering, "Why am I craving a cigarette so badly?"  It is our own doing.  It is often the undoing of those who have not yet learned enough about their addiction because they start to believe that they will never find relief until they smoke just one to get them through this "awful craving."  But as Joel pointed out to you, you are long passed physical withdrawl.  Smoking a cigarette will not relieve what you are feeling because you are nicotine free.  Smoking will instead recreate your need to smoke because you will immediately start the cycle of rising and falling blood nicotine levels that will drive the need to smoke to prevent withdrawl.

 

So what is it that you are feeling?  If you have not been reading on www.whyquit.com, then I would suggest that you read as time permits on that website.  There are articles there, including some by John Polito, that explain how your brain adjusted to the nicotine (a central nervous system stimulant) in your blood, , by making physical changes.  Those changes are what make you an addict.  Your brain was physically altered but so was your psyche.  The "need" to smoke has become as much a part of you as the need to eat, drink, and find shelter.  But that does not mean that you will find it forever difficult to live without nicotine.  I know that two months may seem like a long time to you but you are still learning to deal with everything again without being under the influence of nicotine.  While you have come a long way in those two months, don't get impatient with your recovery.  Just recognize that you are healing both mentally and physically and that things will continue to get better and the thoughts will become fewer and less intense as long as you never take another puff.

 

Joseph

Nearly 21 months without nicotine.