Astrology Signs and Planets.

The Daily Humorscope-Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Today you will discover a hair growing in an odd place. Don't worry about it, unless the odd place is your eye.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Today you will break all the resolutions you made yesterday, and you will grin.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

You will be intensely jealous of a rival today. Finally, you will realise that it isn't doing you any good to be jealous, so you'll switch over to envy.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Try to work the words "happenstance" and "ineffable" into your conversation today. It turns out that most people believe any sentence that has the word "ineffable" in it. Such as that one.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

As a joke today, you will get an alarmed expression on your face, crouch on someone's carpet, and start making disgusting "huck, huck!" sounds. The joke's on you, though, since they will insist that you eat some hairball remedy.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Today you will find a really big piece of lint in your pocket. That's it, though, for today's excitement.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

A creature from the 7th dimension will become attached to your leg, and will be impossible to remove. Eventually, you'll simply get used to it.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Bad news: people think you're becoming paranoid. Isn't that just typical, though? I mean, they don't even HAVE invisible malevolent air-squids spying on THEM, do they?

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Excellent day to come up with new theories to explain the universe around you. Remember: the simplest explanation is usually the best. For example, most physicists today subscribe to the "Big Band" theory of the creation of the universe. I have an alternate theory that I prefer, which I call "Tuba Ensemble".

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Today you will begin a new hobby: collecting spores, molds, and fungus. You will find it richly rewarding, in a spiritual sense.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

You still have way too much to do. You always have too much to do. If you were any more behind, you would be able to kick yourself. Ever try saying "no"? Sheesh.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

In a strange turn of events, it will turn out that people wearing glasses not only look smarter, they ARE smarter. You'll forget all about this when you take your reading glasses off, however.

Love & Hugs,

AngelBear7042

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