Aries (March 21 - April 19) Not an especially good day to play with crossbows, guns, machetes, flame throwers, mortars, heavy artillery, knives, ninja throwing stars, spears, maces, or nuclear weaponry. At least not all at once. Why not go out and putter about in the garden?
E-coli. It's what's for dinner!
Excellent day to study gastroenterology, or possibly to go bowling.
You will make several somewhat inadvisable impulse purchases today. Fortunately, you will be able to return all of them, except for the Hormel "100 Years Of SPAM!" decorative wall clock.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) You will get one of those pre-mixed salads in a new high-tech bag that "breathes". Or, in this case, wheezes.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You will declare war on ham, today. Possibly on all pork, not just ham. Why? Nobody will know.
Libra (September 23 - October 22) Stay well clear of anti-tachyon beams, today.
Good day to bring home an insectivore as a pet.
In a savage reaction against what you view as New Age Wooly-Mindedness, you will write a best-selling book titled I'm Ok, You're A Twerp. Later, people will often regard you as having "defined" the current decade.
Work has been stressful for you lately, and you're not likely to see much change for the better unless you take matters into your own hands. This is a situation that calls for subtle guerilla tactics. Your best bet is to get up really early, and bake fresh cinnamon rolls to bring to work. Studies show that it's really, really hard to dislike someone who gives you a fresh homemade cinnamon roll. Career advancement never tasted so good!
This week, try to live your life based on the ad copy of a men's cologne. For example: "The mood of the sea, and the spirit of the wind" (Cool Water, by Davidoff) Or perhaps: "Disturb the equilibrium" (Catalyst for Men, by Halston)
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Relationships are a lot like tables. One leg is love, one is trust, one is shared pleasures, and one is shared dreams. Lasting relationships need all four legs for balance, to hold up the burden of your troubles. In your case, though, you'll never get rid of that irritating wobble.
Love & Hugs,
AngelBear7042
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