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Shirley Journal : a month ago today
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 Message 1 of 2 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamemamaw-shirley  (Original Message)Sent: 8/5/2008 3:20 PM
Today is exactly one month since Jerry passed away.  I thought time was going so slowly but its already been a month that Jerry has not been with me.   I have so many mixed feelings about this date.  I want to scream and cry and on the other hand I am finally glad that he is out of pain.  I picture him sitting around a table with our 2 friends that have gone before him and they are talking about the same things we are.  The memories.  Wonder where he is?  Wonder what hes doing?  I miss him so much.  Even the bad times that all marriages go through don't seem so bad right now.  I wish I had been more patient toward the end before he went into the hospital for the last time.  Then I think about how  selfish I am to want him back.  I really don't want him to hurt like he did just to make me happy.  I also believe that he is in a happy place now and I wouldn't want to take that away from him.  I am glad I gave him instructions for when he got to heaven.  I told him to wait for me and no women!  I am getting sick a lot lately with a constant headache and stomach problems.  I think thats part of the grieving for me.  I can't remember anything.  I look for the same things every day to make sure they are where they are supposed to be.  Thats what lists are for.


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 Message 2 of 2 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameMorganFairclawsSent: 8/5/2008 3:57 PM
((((((((((((((((Shirley)))))))))))))  I know how difficult this day must be for you.  But we are all there with you in spirit.  I hope you don't mind us adding to your journal, but if you do I will say what I want on the regular boards just to your attention.
We are all so proud of you and how you are growing as a person and gaining confidence.  I am relieved to see you write about that although you miss Jerry with all your heart you know he is no longer suffering and that gives you comfort.  It's going to take you a while to adjust to your new life.  But I see some of the good memories you have let into your heart.  That will help you heal.  Have to say I loved the comment about no women.  I bet he is listening and remembering. Bet there is no other woman for Jerry other than you.