Once when introducing Thomas A. Edison at a dinner, the toastmaster mentioned his many inventions, dwelling in length on the talking machine.  The aged inventer then rose to his feet, smiled and said gently to his audience:

 

"I thank the geneltman for his kind remarks, but I must insist upon a correction.  God invented the talking machine.  I only invented one that can be shut off."

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Some one asked a friend---'What color are your preachers eyes?.....Said he--"I don't know-when he prays, he shuts his eyes and when he preaches, I shut my eyes."