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| | From:  Andyhunt74 (Original Message) | Sent: 2/1/2008 10:28 PM |
Hi Jacob
Munchkin 2 months have passed and it still feels like yesterday. I think I must be numb the last few weeks I don't seem to be able to think about anything properly even you. Don't get me wrong your names in my head from the minute I wake up to the second I fall asleep. I try and concentrate on thinking about you but it feels like I'm being stopped from going to far. I love you Jacob always have always will. I miss you like crazy. I really don't think I'm accepting it. I can say the words that your gone but I can't get them to sink in. I don't know what to do. I'll always love you baby and I'm sorry for not crying every 5 minutes. I do care that your not with me. I love you. I'm sorry I told you I would never let anyhting bad happen to you then not keep my promise. I console myself with maybe to you this wasn't a bad thing to me it was the end of my life also. I don;t know how to go on. I'm so angry with everyone all the time. I'm sorry baby. I'll love you for eternity and will never ever forget you.
love, kisses and hugs from your mummy forever xxxxx |
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Jacob (Munchkin)
Well baby it finally happened I finally was able to have a really good cry. I played your song 'Martha's harbour' in your room and I got out the pj's you had on on your angel day. The pain is unbearable baby and I have been trying to be strong I just can't do it anymore. Your aunty juju bought you red roses for your birthday I'll keep them in the house till your birthday then put them by your tree in the garden. I so wosh you were here for your birthday. My big lad 4 years old. I miss you Jacob and I love you with every breath I take. I'll never stop. I really hope that one day I'll be able to smile at the memories and your photos without crying or having to turn away in case I get upset. Good night god bless. Loe Mummy xxxxx |
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