Hello,

My name is Deborah and I just lost my daughter Jessica on December 9th from a three year battle with cancer. She was 9 years old.  Jessica is actually my step-daughter....I think that is an ugly word.  Jessica came into my life when she was just 4 months old.  Yes her biological mom is still in her life, however, Jessca always said that she had two moms.  My husband and I are grieving dearly from ourt loss.  I know in my heart she is an angel now.  My husband however has completely and totally disowned God.   This has been a tremendous stress on our marriage and I honestly don't know what to do anymore.  Jessica went through so much in her short lifetime.  She had chemo, radiation, surgery and a stem cell harvest of her own stem cells.  This was alot for her to bare.  We have three other kids, Derik (my step son), Mikaila (my daughter) and Megan (mine and my husbands.  Each one grieves very differently.  My youngest Megan will still play with Jess like she is still here.  However crys daily because she knows she is not coming back.  Mikaila the oldest, is very quiet and does not want to talk about it.  As for Derik, well I am not sure how he is doing?   We have not seen him since Jessica passed away.  Its a very long story and I don't want to focus on that.  My question is this,  how do marriages survive such a tragedy.  Jessica was just like my child.  I potty trained her. I taught her how to spell her name and to write it.  My husband has had seizures and continues to battle with the loss.  I have had so much focus on him and what is happening with him that I don't feel I have had time to grieve.  I would love anyone to send any suggestions no matter what they are.  This is the second time I have delt with cancer as I also lost my first husband to cancer. 

 

I appreciate this website and any advise anyone has.

 

Lost at Sea

 

Deborah