For a long time after my Bobby died, I was angry..with myself for not being able to do something to save him...I am a health care professional, trained in CPR and basic life support, and yet I could do nothing.
Later, I was angry at him for leaving...for doing this to me, who loves him more than life...and his sisters and brother who loved him and looked up to him...and his wife and children who needed him...
I was angry at a family member in another state, who did not come and bring my mother-in-law who was visiting them at the time....(this one took me the longest to get over)
I am no longer angry with Bobby. He did nothing wrong. He did not die on purpose..though he was in pain, he loved life and all of us, and would not 'do this to us'.
I am less angry with the family member. They had their own family and things to deal with...I don't know why I should expect them to drop everything and go 1500 miles...oh, well, it's been 5 1/2 years, it's time to let it go..................
My Bobby was a kind, loving, and compassionate person, and I know that he would want me to let it go and to be happy...So, that's what I am trying to do.
Love and hugs....Rean
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