Everyone handles anger differently:
I knew that on the day of Bobby's funeral Bob and I would have a bit to discuss, so I asked my hubby to drive himself and his brother, I'd drive myself. I remember crying the entire way, demanding God to answer me. I also thought of just not showing up...certainly everyone could understand my grief. Finally, in the parking lot I just prayed for God to get me through this one day.
The church was FILLED, and afterward I noticed that the school had deliverd THREE busloads of Bobby's friends and classmates. It was during the luncheon afterward when I really felt God's hand already beginning to work my soul. A lady came up to me and said "You must be REALLY angry with the driver of that car." It was then that I realized even from the day Bobby died, I wasn't angry with ANYONE. Even now, I realize that is was simply an accident. My sister who is a lieutenant with the city's police department had been my liason with the state police and the county sheriff. She told me that the state, after investigating, DID have enough evidence to prove fault and wreckless driving (no kidding), and did I want to file charges. I said absolutely NOT. All I had to do was think back to my teenage driving experiences and I realized that this driver was simply inexperienced and had no intention of hurting, much less killing, anyone.
I made the decision (with God's help) that I could not allow myself to be angry or bitter the rest of my life. I have no idea if this would be my feeling had Bobby been intentionally killed.
Nancy Stroosnyder
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