I feel like i have to support everyone else....... i guess my Husband Richard, who is my son's Dad. He has been their Dad for 18yrs their father left when they were little. So Richard has been grieving the loss as hard as me. I feel like a bottle things up to protect those around me. Me neighbours and friends have been good but i also cover my feelings because i know they will never understand.....and i don't want to be miserable everytime i see them , i am worried i will scare them off. I think the person i can be "free' with is a lady that i painted with many years ago who contacted me after Tim died, Her son Scott was hit by a car about 16 yrs ago - Scott was killed and she has been the ONLY one that i feel i can show how i truely am. She lives 3000 kilometres away so we talk on the phone and e-mail. But she is the only one that really knows the enormity of my feelings and how hard it is to not go absolutely crazy with grief.
Love Annie |