LONG WAY OFF
When Sara was 6, her new puppy became seriously ill, and the vet didn't know if he could save it.
I felt very bad for Sara, because this was her first pet and it had been a Christmas gift, so I said to her, "Don't worry, precious; just remember, if Fluffy dies, we'll see her in heaven."
Sara looked at me as if I were simple-minded and said, "Well, yes, Daddy, but heaven's a long way off for me -- I'm only six!" -- [Michael Huggins (via Keith Todd)]
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LAST ONE
A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.
At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them. The child was crying and begging for some special treat. He wants some candy or gum and his mother won't let him have any, she thought.
Then she heard his mother's reply.
"No!" she said, looking in her direction. "You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!" -- [Pastor Tim]
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CEO
Our dinner-table discussion one evening focused on homework assignments, specifically our ten-year-old's lesson on acronyms. I asked him if he knew what "CEO" stood for. He didn't, so I explained that it meant "chief executive officer."
"That definitely must be what Dad is," our son commented. My husband was beaming with pride but felt the need to be truthful.
"No," he said, "I'm not chief executive officer."
Our son replied, "Oh! I thought Mom said "cheap executive officer." -- [Reader's Digest]
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A VISIT FROM GRANDMA
The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother ! was curi ous. "What trick is that my dear," she asked.
The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."
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PLAY HOUSE
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, want to play house?"
He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your feelings."
"Communicate my feelings?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means."
The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."
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