Dead Duck 

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she  lay her
pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the
bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head  sadly and said,
"I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away." 

 
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?  "Yes, I am sure. The duck is
dead," he replied.  "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you
haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few
moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.

He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted
the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful
cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird.
The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled
out of the room.

 
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."  Then the vet turned to his
computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the
woman.  The duck's owner, still in shock, look the bill. "$150!" she cried!
"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would
have been only $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan....."