|
|
 |
|
Reply
| |
I've been wanting to make something right for awhile now,but havent really had the right words to say..so I will just type and hopefully it will come out ok....about a month ago I made a very reckless post about how I felt that someone had mentioned I didnt have any friends here..I didnt say who it was but most of you guessed..it was a conversation, a private one between myself and Beaker that had no buisness making public like I did..I was upset with myself and took many things that night out of context in a major way, which in turn left some very angry words towards him..it was unfair of me that I didnt correct the way the conversation went and Beaker for that I am truley sorry..you didnt deserve all the hateful things that were said to you, I hope one day you can forgive me...what I did was wrong and selfish.I have been over and over that IM and I grossly misread what you typed..I hope that any friendships that were damaged b/c of me can be repaired..I know its to late for our friendship..i've caused to much damage but what I want most is that you all can forgive him..and,again my deepest apology to you Arky most of all for posting something that was untrue love Carrie... |
|
Reply
| |
wow...I really didnt expect any responses..not like these anyways..Jack I know we havent been close for a very long time but for you to say I am desperate and pathetic was a low blow..if you knew me at all you would knowI dont fit either..I am a strong girl ...all I was doing was trying to make something right..and favor? what the hell was that supposed to mean... when I asked ppl to forgive him..I mispoke..I didnt mean the group in general I was talking to the few that may have said not so nice things to him ...nevermind you and others will think what you want..please if you dont have something nice to say,just dont say anything. |
|
Reply
| |
My response had nothing to do with Kevin. I can't speak for anyone else but I'm not a 13 year old that sits around, wags my finger saying that I don't like Kevin because of so & so. We're all adults here. I'll be damned if I have to justify to anybody here or anywhere else as to who I like or who I don't. Quite frankly, I have always had a low tolerance for the lynch mob mentality. My response has more to do with feelings of self- worth. In response to you & Carole feeling this way after conversations with him or anyone else for that matter. Each one diminishes your self- worth even further. Any conversation that heads in a direction that leaves you feeling less than human, stupid, worthless, or like a total fuck up is NOT a conversation you need to be having with anyone. It is NOT a feeling that you need to attach to yourself after ANY conversation. You control those feelings & emotions, believe it or not. Healing begins from within & you can't heal yourself when you repeatedly subject yourself to those feelings. |
|
Reply
|  0 recommendations | Message 8 of 20 in Discussion |
|
| This message has been deleted by the author. |
|
Reply
| |
That was my deleted response. Carrie, when I get time later, I'll email you my answer if I feel like it. You're the one who took it public, so don't act surprised when people weigh in. |
|
Reply
| |
My response is my opinion, nothing else. My choice is to stay away from venomous people I wouldn't associate with in "real life". So why would I choose to spend time with them in a chat room? I assure you, I'm over Beaker's shock and awe routine. Its easy for me to leave him behind in some closed chapter. I wish it was just as easy for Carrie. One of these days, it will be. Carrie, I understand what Kelly meant... you have to give yourself a lot more credit and not second guess your initial response to obvious abuse and manipulation. As long as you continue to do that, he will always have power over you. I made that gross mistake for a long time. I always thought I could change things. I have absolutely NO desire to change anything where it concerns Beaker now. I simply don't care. At all. |
|
Reply
| |
Carrie, I understand what Kelly meant... you have to give yourself a lot more credit and not second guess your initial response to obvious abuse and manipulation. Carole, I think you halfway understood what I meant. My message isn't imploring Carrie to see the light about Kevin. In fact, my message wasn't about Kevin at all. Since I don't seem to be making it as clear as I would like, I'll tell a story from when I worked in the personal care home. I'm pretty certain that I've told it before. Hopefully people will find the lesson as profound as I did. One of my favorite residents of all time was a Nurse, she was the widow of a prominent Physician. Her only caretaker was her Goddaughter. She happened to be a highly educated, high profile Judge that was married to a high profile Architect. When she would come in, she would spend a great deal of time questioning people or taking them to task about her thoughts on the care of Miss Ruby. My employees would always run screaming to me about just how awful she was to them. I never had a problem with her before so I didn't really understand it (now her husband on the other hand WAS an ass, but I blame that on him having little man's syndrome). I decided to hold a meeting with Cynthia to let her know how the staff was feeling. I explained that a great deal of the staff had walked away from encounters with her feeling as if she was blaming them for not taking care of Miss Ruby properly, that she was always questioning their job performance & that she left them with some negative feelings. She asked me if I ever left her feeling that way, I explained that I never had any problems with her. She said, "My job is based on asking people deep or probing questions. People that feel strongly or are confident in what they do, answer the questions & move on. Kelly, as a strong black educated woman people often feel inferior to me. When in reality, I have no control over how they feel. They control the emotions that they elicit." Inner demons if you will...what you let control you does. |
|
Reply
| |
ok..this has spiraled into something that i didnt want, it wasnt my intention, far from it..I dont think I made myself clear in my post when I stated I was down on myself..it had nothing to do with the conversation I was in at the time,I was simply letting you know how I was feeling.. was just having a bad day at work,nothing more than that..we all have those days dont we? it sadens me that some think I dont have my own mind and let ppl manipulate me,believe it or not i'm a very grounded person..my friends in real life mean the world to me and the same with my internet friends.. noone here or on my messenger list has ever treated me badly they have only enriched my life. this was never about me anyways.it was how I treated a good friend badly |
|
Reply
| |
Summer, Little Miss Carrie, you need to know that you are one of the most fabulous women that Classic Rock ever saw. Always friendly and welcoming. We all say and do things we regret from time to time. Thats life. Have a fabulous Christmas and may 2009 be the best year ever for you. Kerry xx |
|
Reply
| |
Hello fellow Americans (and all others) Mikey here...
WOW Carrie my darling your (a doll)such a kind and caring person! Dont let this minor spat change anything but.... your underwear oops sorry love ya always! Kalliz(a babe)angel you sweetheart you. I always loved how you choose your battles. Such a class act I can only wish I could match! Your still #1 in my book my (x-rated fantasy) friend.... "In The End" it doesnt really matter.....lolol inside joke there. Well being as I dont remember much about the "Beak" dude except he was kind of a grump therefore I am still in the "Dudes an assmuncher" boat... or better yet... "You cant polish a turd" hey I fit in that turd category dont I.... Well Happy Holidays folks and keep smiling because life is to short to allow mean or rude people (not me lol) bring you down. See ya somewhere sometime in the future!
Mikey a.k.a. Azzholio
p.s. I always loved the name Charisma! she always kept me in check check check... xoxoxo |
|
Reply
| |
Carrie, You're a sweetie, and I hate that something like this has affected you so much. That said, I think private conversations need to remain private. Beaker is Beaker, and he won't, (and shouldn't have to) apologize for who he is and what he says. If we don't like it, it's our choice not to chat with him. |
|
Reply
| |
oops...wasn't done yet! Anyway, as long as we've all "kind of " known each-other, we're not always going to agree on every little thing. I don't want to turn this into a conversation about Beak, because everyone, at some time, has pissed somebody off, or hurt somebody by something they said. I know I've said stuff that pissed somebody off or hurt, and I've had it done to me. Anyway, we're family in a way, so I am one to just let it go, and address it privately. Your original post was fine...you didn't name names, and sometimes we take too much to heart that we read here. Anyway, at some point, we all "kiss and make up". Otherwise, we wouldn't still be here! Love ya Carrie!  |
|
Reply
| |
| This message has been deleted by the manager or assistant manager. |
|
Reply
| |
| This message has been deleted by the manager or assistant manager. |
|
Reply
| |
| This message has been deleted by the manager or assistant manager. |
|
|
|
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
First
.
Return to General