RESOLVE INNER CONFLICT

All conflicts, whether internal or external, are resolved by finding a common denominator, a common ground. In Neuro-Linguistic Programming we call this "chunking up" to a higher level.

Sometimes people feel pulled in different directions, their hearts pulling them one way, their minds another or their work pulls them one way, family another, hobbies, relaxation or friends yet another and they find themselves either stuck or stressed out trying to decide what is the best way to proceed.

All important decisions are much easier to make when you have a big picture in mind, when you begin with your life as a whole and consider what does your life stand for or what would you like your life to stand for? What would you like to accomplish within the span of your life here on earth? What is one single thing that is most important for you in your life? What gives meaning to your life? What do you life for? And for that matter, what would you die for?

People who are accustomed to looking into their hearts, to listening to their hearts and to following their hearts have it easy here. They know exactly what matters to them. If their hearts pull them one way, they'll follow their trustworthy inner guidance no matter what. They are true to the voice of the Spirit within. They have learned the secret of happiness: "to thine own heart be true". They know that within their hearts is the only altar at which they will ever bow and worship and that this altar is filled with light and love, with boundless power and wisdom. Without love, life is bland. Without love, life is dead. Walking the path of love, one walks the path of inner peace and happiness. Love always lights the way. Love shows the common ground, the common element in any situation. If you ever feel lost in life, you can find your way back by letting love guide your feet, your thoughts, your words, your actions.

People who tend to weigh a lot of pro's and con's, who tend to rely on external opinions and values are more often perplexed when they need to make decisions regarding their lives, because different people have different opinions, different values, different standards and it is impossible trying to please everyone. If you ask ten different people what you should do in any situation, each one may tell you another thing, and what they are telling you may be a perfect solution for each one of them, but the best solution for you is right within you. Other people can help you with ideas and suggestions, but the final decision is yours because you are the one who is going to live with it. It's like wearing shoes - it is much more comfortable walking if the shoes you're wearing fit you. If they fit uncle Joe, but they don't fit you, walking may be a painful and uncomfortable experience.

Once you have an idea of what would you like your life to stand for, what would you like to accomplish with your life, what is truly meaningful and important for you, then whenever you need to make an important decision in any area of your life, you can consider the consequences of such a decision and check whether it is in line with your main goal, is it bringing you closer to fulfillment of your ultimate goal, is it helping you to live your dream life, or is it taking you away from it.

Now is the time of the year when many people make a list of New Year's Resolutions. Many times such lists contain goals that are someone else's goals, goals that may sound good, but do not genuinely come from the heart of the person making such a list, so the person abandons that goal shortly after New Year.

If your goals are motivated by something or someone external to you, then when the something of someone is gone, so is your motivation. Other people may inspire you, they may point the way, they may help in many different ways, but since no one can carry another indefinitely, if you intend to accomplish what you've started - all those resolutions, goals and decisions worth pursuing have to have a root in your own heart. If you do make a list of New Year's Resolution, begin by asking yourself what would you really love to do, regardless whether there is someone out there to support you or not. When you live and walk with love, you'll always have love as your companion and your support, even when outer circumstances in your life change. People, things and circumstances come and go. If you want to experience stability in your life, then you hold onto that which is permanent and unchangeable, that which is within you, that which is the Source of all blessings and then as you go through life you share you blessings with whoever comes your way. Then, you don't fall apart as the wheel of change keeps turning.

In the material world everything changes constantly, but people sometimes struggle trying to force a sense of solidity where there is none. We turn processes into solid things and then feel frustrated because they are constantly changing. Life, work, relationships, family - and words denoting any area of human life - are all processes. They change, they flow, and what you love about them may change over time. If there is a work you once loved, but don't love it any more, change it in some way or go do what you'd love doing now. Whatever part of your life may not be working, find out how you can bring more love into it. If you don't love something any more, move on and do what you love, commit yourself to love, because each moment lived without love is a wasted moment. Love holds the secret of life, love holds the answer, love is the ultimate common element - it is the essence of oneness, of one Spirit, one life expressing through all.