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| | From:  superki4 (Original Message) | Sent: 6/6/2008 8:13 PM |
Hi, my boyfriend has been insulin dependant for about 19 years now roughly. And over the last 3 years he has started to have more and more hypo's. He hasn't been to the doctors in only god knows how long, and he really hates talking about his diabetes. We have been together for 2 years. And i'm getting really worried now. I know he needs to want to help himself. But im at a loss now. Is there anyone with diabetes that could give me some advice on the best way to go about helping him? Basically, he ignores his letters from the doctors about his annual checks he should be going to, he never goes to the doctors. He doesnt eat any fruit or veg. He eats packets of crisps and sweets. If I cook him a meal he wont eat it. He wont even let me put vegetables on his plate. He does eat alot of meat, but recently he just seems to eat crisps constantly. I feel as though im at a dead end. Because I love him so much, but when ever i try to discuss anything to do with his health he wont have any of it. He also smokes quite alot of weed, I'm not sure but I think that this might be due to the fact that he likes to use it to escape and not think about whats going on around him. I find it really hard to sleep coz im always checkin to see if he's ok coz many a time I've woken up to find him unconcious and had to ring an ambulance. I find diabetes quite confusing in general, I try to learn as much as possible to understand as he doesn't talk about it. I think your supposed to check your blood sugar levels before you do each insulin jab, but I know he does his jab twice a day and always sets it to the same amount, in the two years we have been together he has never checked his sugar levels. I'm desperate on getting some advice on how to get through to him - before its too late. Any advice would be most welcomed and appreciated. Tia xxx |
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Tia you’re in a tough situation hon, because if your boyfriend is not taking care of himself there is nothing you can do. All the talking to him will only agatate ( sp?) him He has to be the one that wants to help himself and it doesn't look like he wants to. The way he is eating, I'm surprised he's having hypos..I would think he's sugars would be thru the roof. I'm not sure what Crisps are but sounds like high fat. Meats I would not think would raise he’s sugars. Now he may be taking large does of insulin. Boy this really scares me for him..hes playing with death ..I'm sorry don't want to scare you but that really scares me. We use to know a young lady who ignored her diabetes too, in fact at the time we DIDN'T know she was a diabetic and she was on insulin..she didn't take of her diabetes either, she partied all hours of the night, ate the wrong things, drank ..she was in her 20s by the time she was in her 30's she was blind than a year later was dead. You just can't ignore diabetes. Hon I know this is scary for you but unless he gets the help he needs and takes better care of himself ..things are only going to get worse..I hope he wakes up and takes care of himself. Meanwhile take care of you Maryb  |
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I have to agree with MrsMaryB, you're in a tough spot because this isn't something you can fix, it's your bf's problem and it doesn't sound like it's something he wants to fix. At least he's having hypoglycemic problems which means at least part of the time his BS is low, but you don't know how much of the time it's too high and that's when the damage is being done. 19 years of this disease not being well controlled is about when the damage starts showing up. I don't want to be too much of a downer, but you should be looking at your future with someone who is unwilling to have a future. You say you love him, how much does he love you? He probably doesn't love himself. I'm sorry your in a bad place. If "crisps" are something potato, I'd avoid it or be adjusting my insulin to cover the added carbs. The two of you need a serious talk, and if he doesn't see a dr how does he get the insulin refilled? Good luck, Deidre |
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Thanks guys. He just hasa repeat prescription so he doesnt have to visit a doctor. |
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Tia, Are you in the USA? The reference to 'crisps' made me think it was maybe Great Brittain, here you usually have to go see the dr at least once a year or they won't refill your prescriptions, although some dr's probably would. I became diabetic when I was 12 and always took my insulin, but never tested. I met my future DH when I was 24 and the way I managed my disease remained the same until we had gotten married and I lost my job and he got one with health insurance and he said now you can stay home and we can start a family and I said I was never going to have children. He said it was the most important thing in his life and I told him all the things I had heard about diabetes and babies and early death and I was NOT going to do it. He insisted we go see a dr to help make the final decision. I was very fortunate to find a great GP and then a fantastic endocrynologist, who put me on a pump and convinced me that I could have a good life if I took care of my diabetes. I have 2 wonderful daughters, 21 and 18, both born natural, I don't have any damage to my eyes or kidneys and it's all because my DH had to have kids. What I'm saying is your BF has to find something to live for and to take care of himself for. I would hope for your sake that that would be you, if he can't do it for himself, but you need a heart to heart with him. Maybe talk about what he sees as his future and where you are in it, if he won't talk, write him a letter and tell him how scared you are for him and you. You could be the best thing that ever happened to him, I know my DH was for me. Deidre |
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yes im in england, crips are potato chips. and he doesnt have to go to the doctor for his prescription |
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| | | From: sarahQ | Sent: 6/9/2008 3:57 PM |
| | | yes im in england, crips are potato chips. and he doesnt have to go to the doctor for his prescription | | His GP is negligent then, as the computer should spit out a rude message within 2 weeks of a review date. As a rule no prescriptions are issued once 2 warnings have been given. Please drop his Dr a note, explaining what is going on and ask him to respect your anomity if it will cause a rift between you and your BF. Sounds harsh if all else fails tell him to take a walk as you do not want to see him die. It sounds to me as if he is on a mixtard insulin. He can have a perfectly normal life using a bolus/basal system. IE he counts the carb value of food and injects the insulin to cover what he eats. I hope you manage to sort him out soon. |
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