From: grandma

Sent: 8/10/2004 2:59 PM

Penny I agree with you one hundred percent...the case with your son WAS child molestation.   On the reverse side of the coin: My first husband (and the father of my children) was 26 years older than me.  In fact he was one year younger than my mother.  I was 28 when I married him, and he was 54.  We agreed on children before I said "yes".  I selected him to be the father of my children and I don't think I made a mistake. (He was just a lousy husband!)

From: Agingwell

Sent: 8/10/2004 5:06 PM

Penny, A 32 year old women chasing a 18 year old, is not only boarderline child molesting, it's just not right..If I touched on a sore spot with you, (and obviously I did) I am so sorry. I also have 3 sons, and the thought of that, sickens me. I was 49, the younger guy was 34..The gentleman I am seeing now is 40. I say gentleman because he is. Actually he acts older than me sometimes.. Why do I feel like I am defending myself here????? I guess if I didn't want honesty and negitive feed back I shouldn't have posted what I did. I will be more careful in the future.. Again I apoligize. Kathy

From: <NOBR>Angelbear233</NOBR>

Sent: 8/10/2004 5:29 PM

Agingwell, You have posted nothing wrong and no need to feel you have to defend yourself. We all have different experiences in life and our various opinions just help us learn more. No need for a apology here to anyone. Nothing in our conversations is meant to be taken personal to anyone, just our own opinions on what we know. Please continue to share, you have a very good topic here for discussion.  Angelbear

From: <NOBR>Penny_PA</NOBR>

Sent: 8/10/2004 5:31 PM

Kathy,   Oh no no no .....you didn't say anything wrong at all......I was just sharing........that I have seen it as a good thing...and as a not so good thing.......but bad only in extremes.....which I surely know does not pertain to anyone here on this board.  Please don't take my comments as bad feedback.....it was merely......sharing of thoughts......and as I said.....I have seen good and bad.  I don't think age itself should be an issue between two adults who care about each other.  The problem with the issue with my son......is.........that the woman was an adult...and my son was still basically a kid.  (he was 17 when the harassment started)   You said nothing wrong.....it's an interesting topic.   And if you got a 40 yr old that makes ya smile.........I say go for it...  :-)

From: Agingwell

Sent: 8/10/2004 9:06 PM

Thank you. I guess I over reacted..I do that alot these days.. I'm just glad you thought the topic interesting. I guess to be honest I was looking for some kind of 'validation' of sorts. This turning 50 has really hit me hard. I was the last one of our 'group' to hit the big 5 0, and of course I have been bombarded with e-cards, jokes, phone calls...The worst? My high school sweetheart ( now great friend) sent me information on AARP!!!! He thought it was hilarious, and I did for a minute too, but hey, what's next social security? ( Oh I hope I live that long) anyways maybe, just maybe younger guys help me to 'stay young'...( Did I say that?) Besides the guy I'm seeing? He's almost bald, and I think he's sexy as all get out!!!!! Kathy

From: <NOBR>aaaaahadair</NOBR>

Sent: 8/10/2004 9:24 PM

"Liver" is 2 yrs younger than me...neither one of us seem to feel that the age difference is a bother.  We did not even question each other's age for quite a while because we were so compatible with one another.   I think age is also a state of mind.  If you were 22 and going out with a 16 yr old; that might be a different story (the old "robbing the cradle" thing) but as we mature the age difference/gap seems to diminish   adair

From: <NOBR>Angelbear233</NOBR>

Sent: 8/10/2004 9:36 PM

Kathy, (agingwell)  Could it just be that you are not happy within yourself and can't accept who you are and that you're getting older? Figure whats going on inside you first then maybe you can be more accepting of getting older gracefully. If you're fortunate, social security will be next down the road, think of the alternative. I feel young inside still and I am 50 as of last January. Youthfulness is a frame of mind to a point and I still have it, knock on wood.   I have always thought a majority of men that I've seen who are bald are sexy. And then some are just plain bald period, no appeal!! LOL! You go for whatever makes you happy, just be careful.  Angelbear

From: <NOBR>FlutterbyeRose04</NOBR>

Sent: 8/13/2004 8:39 AM

I have a question, Where is it written that the guy has to be older then the woman?   When I was single and in better shape I seemed to attrack the younger men, one was 12 years old younger, we had a blast with each other, he knew my age he didn't care the thing that broke us up was 1. he was an aloholic and 2. he had a girlfriend in and another state, I don't like being played or lied to too so I stoped that relationship as soon as I knew about her, the alohoe was getting to me at that time also... My ex left me for a girl 31 years younger then himdelf, thier still together but he is misable, awww sweet revenge .He always told me when I turned 40 he will turn me in for two 20 year olds.  My dh's son is 18 years younger then his wife (she is one month younger then me) and they been married over ten years and very happy. New dh is 7 years older then myself but most of the time it feels as though he's 20 years older... It's all numbers we have to make the most of all of it and life.

My sister who is 55 is living with a man around 13 years younger.  However they make a good pair.  Age is just a number.  My cousin is getting divorced and is dating a man about 13 years older than her. 

 

I've been reading some of the other message boards in this group..........this one is close to my heart since my dh is almost 11 years younger . It was an issue at first for me cuz I wasn't sure of what his family would say (they are all very close). But come to find out most of the marriages in the family there are big age differences!! The only time it comes up now is when we're joking with each other. I agree with the other posts in this board that state age is just a state of mind. Since we've been dating and then married, we are happier than we've ever been.  I know  it doesn't work for everyone, but for those of us that it does.........it's wonderful!!

My DIL is 59, my son is 37, they have been married for 16 years, they are very happy. I am 53 and it does seem strange to have an older woman calling me mom but other than that I too love her and her 7 kids. So Angelbear you do what is right for you and him. It is really no ones business as long as you are both mature adults.

 

Sonja

Sorry Angelbear. I looked to quickly I quess. My hubby is 3 years older than I. and that is how I like it too. but I do find many people tend to get to concerned with what other adults do. I try to never judge others. It is hard to not judge those who make trouble for others. My son and DIL have had a lot of negative feedback they didn't ask for so I tend to get verbal on this topic.

 

Hugs,

Sonja