Jim has had an excessively boozy night out. So he stumbles home, crawls into the house and goes to bed. Next morning he wakes up and the room is immaculate. The clothes have been ironed and put away, the sheets are clean, the room is clean, vacuumed, the works. He gets up, goes into the bathroom, it also is supremely clean. There is a note stuck to the mirror.
Good Morning my wonderful husband.
I didn't want to wake you this morning so I've done the cleaning and made you a big breakfast. It's in the oven to keep warm. Johnny has been fed and is watching TV and I will see you when I get home.
Jim pales. He thinks he's in deep s***. He goes downstairs and takes his breakfast from the oven and goes over to talk to his son. Johnny is happily watching TV.
"Son. What happened last night?"
"Well mum said, that last night you came home disgustingly drunk. She took you inside and you fell and broke her favourite lamp"
Jim swallows deeply.
"Go on.."
"So mum took you into the bathroom and started to take your clothes off when you pushed her away and told her to 'Stop it, I'm a married man' "
(its funnier when you say it to someone)