When her last child graduated from high school, Janeen decided to sell the triple-scented candles she'd been making and giving to family and friends for years at her community's craft fair. On the day of the show, Janeen lined up four dozen candles of various scents on a card table and waited for customers to seek her out. Few did. At the end of the day, Janeen had sold only four candles. She calculated that after adding the fair's fee to the cost of her candle-making materials, she'd lost $35.

Then a sympathetic vendor whose homemade soaps had sold out assured Janeen that when she started, the same thing happened to her. She told Janeen about a craft-for-profit support group that met in the community room of the county extension office. "You're welcome to come," she told Janeen. "We discuss topics such as pricing, creative displaying, and tax laws. Our group members stay on the lookout for low-cost sources of craft supplies. We share information and help each other out."

Janeen attended the next meeting and learned how to package and display her candles more attractively. A group member gave her the name of a candle-making materials supplier whose bargain prices enabled her to lower her own prices by one-third. Two meetings later, the entire group cheered when Janeen shared that at her last craft show, she'd completely sold out of her candles.

	The most important factor to consider is how you feel when you're with the group.

Likewise, when Beth became engaged, she received oodles of support from her mother, aunts, and three older sisters. After the wedding, Beth called on her family whenever she had a question or concern about married life. No matter what domestic situation Beth encountered, at least one of her female relatives—all of them wives—had at some time in her life been through the same thing. They were glad to help out.

But shortly after her first anniversary, Beth's 23-year-old husband was killed in a car crash. No matter how hard her loving family tried to help Beth, not one of them had ever lost a spouse. They had no idea what it was like to become a young widow.

Beth craved the support, comfort, and wisdom of women who understood what she was going through. Beth found what she needed in a hospice-sponsored community support group for new widows.

Someone who understands you. While the term "support group" wasn't coined until recently, the concept's been around for almost 2,000 years. God designed the church to operate as a support group for his people. Since its establishment after Jesus' resurrection, church families have provided believers with a place to belong, share, and work together. Membership in a vibrant, loving church gives support of the best kind—based on loving and caring for each other as Christ loved us.

While both Beth and Janeen benefited from their involvement in secular support groups, it was their church family who provided them with spiritual support. From her church, Beth received unconditional love, constant prayers, and a depth of compassion not available anywhere else. As Janeen's business grew, her church family held her accountable to conduct her business in a fair, ethical manner. Neither woman felt a conflict between her involvement in support groups and her commitment to her church. But what Beth and Janeen found in support groups outside the church was specific information, help, and understanding about their particular situations.

Perhaps like me, you need the support of a group to lose weight. I've found accountability to a weight-loss group, such as First Place, a Christ-centered health program, aids my efforts. I enjoy sharing recipes, gleaning ideas for incorporating exercise into my life, and hearing the success stories of group members. While I'd prefer not to share this sensitive part of my life with others, when I'm a part of a group, I'm always in better control. Every time I attempt to go it alone, I end up seeking solace in a bag of cookies or a handful of chips!

Sharing with a group helps. Whatever your need or situation, chances are there's a support group tailor-made for you. Don't be nervous. Give one a try!

What is a support group? It's simply a group of people bound by a common problem, situation, concern, or lifestyle who are committed to helping each other. Members regularly share information, understanding, advice, and encouragement. Support groups exist for almost any situation, topic, or need you can imagine.

Just as support groups vary as to the needs they address, they also vary in size, leadership, and duration. Beth's group consisted of ten women. Once the group was started, no new members were permitted to join. Facilitated by a trained counselor, the group met once a week for 16 intensive weeks. At the end of that period, Beth's group disbanded and another began.

Janeen's group met once a month. Leadership changed every quarter, and various committees took care of group tasks such as advertising, procuring speakers, and creating a newsletter.

I've been a member of several support groups during various seasons of my life. Each operated differently. During the year our family hosted a foreign exchange student, we enjoyed monthly get-togethers with other host families. We learned from each other how best to parent a child whose background differed from our own. Early in my husband's career, I joined a support group for coaches' wives to better understand the stress of his job. I learned how to be an asset to him, how I could best support him, and how not to take personally some of the comments I heard when I sat in the stands at his games!

Some groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, La Leche League, and Take Off Pounds Sensibly are nationally recognized and have groups meeting all over the world. Others are local, such as the Alzheimer's disease caregiver's group sponsored by my local hospital or the citywide gathering of firefighters' wives I read about in the newspaper.

Other groups, such as MOPS International, which reaches out to mothers of children under school age, or DivorceCare, which helps members grapple with the issues surrounding separation and divorce, are church-sponsored.

How do I find one? Taking the first step is the hardest. First begin checking the community events column in the local newspaper for listings of support groups' meetings and times. Scan the Yellow Pages. Search the Internet. National organizations such as the American Cancer Society, the American Diabetes Association, and the American Heart Association sponsor support groups specific to their mission. If you know of such an organization even remotely related to your need, give them a call. They'll be glad to help. Social workers on staff at local hospitals also are usually knowledgeable about a wide range of community resources and are a great source of referrals. Ministers, physicians, teachers, and librarians are good people to ask as well. If they don't know about a specific group, they often know of someone else who can help.

Internet-based support groups offer an easy way to try out several types of groups, especially for those who aren't sure what format they want, or who would like to learn more about support groups before committing to one. They also are a great alternative for women who are unable to attend meetings, have extremely confidential situations, or live in rural areas where no local support group exists. These virtual groups allow you to "talk" to one or more women, usually through online forums, instant messenger programs, or e-mail. The style, organization, and operation of these groups vary widely. You can locate an online group by searching the websites of major organizations, or try using a search engine. You'll want to look at several search engines and use a variety of words and phrases in your search to obtain the best match.

What makes a good support group? Bottom line? It's one that makes its members feel supported! Along with an environment of encouragement, a good support group will have the following: a commitment to confidentiality, regularly scheduled meetings, and competent leadership.

No one group is right for every person, but the most important factor to consider is how you feel when you're with the group. Although no one should expect to feel total comfort at first, within a short period of time, you should experience feelings of ease and belonging within the group.

Should I start my own group? Sure! If none exists that meets your needs, join with two or three other women and begin one of your own. Start small and enlist the help of others. Contact your local hospital, your minister, or community leaders known to have an interest in the focus of your group. Ask for their help and advice. Early on, delegate leadership tasks to avoid others viewing it as "your" group. Neglecting to do this places all the decisions and responsibilities on your shoulders, hence depriving you of the whole reason for forming a support group—to gain support!

After all, whether you desire to lose weight, need to control blood sugar, or parent an ADHD son, you'll hear no sweeter words than those uttered by a group, "You go, girl! We knew you could do it!"

Annette Smith, an author and women's event speaker, lives with her family in Texas.