Hey Jana, and welcome to HoH. If you're living with and loving a junkie, well, you've got the tiger by the tail, that's all I've got to say. Dope sickness is very real and is pretty much nothing like a hangover or a craving. It's a physical illness where the body crashes in the absence of the opiates it has grown habituated to getting: causing vomiting and diarrhea, severe runny nose, sweating, chills, leg cramps, general restlessness and claustrophobia, profound depression and physical weakness and complete and total insomnia that can last literally for well more than a week. It really sucks. That said, withdrawal is miserable but no one who is basically young and healthy has ever died of opiate withdrawal and I would strongly advise you to try to draw a line with your man that his habit is HIS responsibility. That's tough to do, I know, but otherwise whatever is yours will become his because heroin is a bitch that keeps on taking. The only other advice I would give you is to avoid playing with dope too much yourself. You really don't need to go there. In fact, if you want some really honest advice, I'd strongly urge you to find another boyfriend--and I say this as someone who shot dope off and on for a quarter century. Ultimately, it's a loser's game and EVERYONE loses. That said, lots of luck with your situation and keep checking in if you like. David

oh boy...david said it soooo well. it is nothing like a hangover. you cannot imagine ever feeling this bad and for so long...5-7 days is the worst PHYSICAL part, but after that it gets worse i think sometimes. on top of what he said, you arent ever comfortable...every cell in your body isnt comfortable ever and its most unnerving and my nerves were totally fried everytime i detoxed. my legs would kick uncontrollably, especially when lying down. you cant do anything for him. do you hear this? dont waste your time babying him...he doesnt care...it doesnt help. you cant do anything to make him even comfortable. chances are hes too sick to even talk and would do anything for a fix, unless his goal is to kick i mean, in which case he will still do anything for a fix. oh, there is so much i could tell you. if you havent been there, its really difficult to understand and he wont even have the energy to try to make you understand. he wont feel luike talking, he wont want you to touch him, nothing feeels good and it goes on forever for the junkie. the clock just stops. after a couple of days, a bath would sometimes help my muscles relax for maybe 5 minutes which i was grateful for. some junkies will take lots of baths. if he will, it will make him feel better. my bf wouldnt do it...thats on him. the one point i disagree on with mb, and its just different experiencek,was the insomnia thing. i had to leave the city i was in numerous times to try to get clean. one time i went to kick at my mothers. i didnt sleep for 19 days...not one wink...not at all..i was hallucinating and having panic attacks on top of everything else. i HAD no choice. i felt i had to go back and shoot some dope. it is the only thing that will make a junkie feel better and it works instantly! i wish you luck...youre better off getting off this ride now, but telling a girl in love to go help herself is like telling a junkie it will feel better tomorrow...not when tomorrow never comes. my heart goes out to you both.

love, teri

ps. im sorry if this doesnt sound encouraging, but the situation youre in isnt encouraging and if you have any thought that you guys might be different, i can assure you that there are few things as overwhelmingly strong as a heroin detox. its not that he doesnt care, its that he CANT care right now. if hes not kicking dope for good and all, i suggest you get him a hit of dope and keep him well and then when hes well, look into your options...detox, treatment, methadone, spirtual experience...thats about it. sorry, but im honest. this is what i know and remember. someone else might be more encouraging,. im not trying to be a bitch. im trying to give it to you straight. what i tell you is my truth and my experience.

walker!! you are still around!! i swear, i was just thinking about you this morning and wishing that you would post again.... as usual i loved your advice to jana, esp. since i was thinking the same thing, to get him on methadone....

but i must say,  you all gave wonderful advice to jana, i will just add my voice too.... jana, i was on heroin for about 8 years and i have been on methadone for 21 years... methadone saved me, i had tried and tried to get clean and i had just about given up ever having a real life again....

 

i would never have a relationship with another heroin addict but at the end i did meet my husband who was a heroin addict too and we got on methadone and we are still together... but for about 7 years i was by myself.... i was young and pretty and a lot of guys wanted to marry me even... but i only had room in my life for 1 love and that was heroin....

 

i wonder several things jana, how long have you been with him? if we are talking about a fairly new relationship, get out now! honey, he will drag you down, esp. if you are trying it here and there a little, you say you are into drinking, you sound like you might have an addictive personality like all of us.... and jana, just because you dont like it all that much now, it will grab ahold of you and never let go...

 

another thing i wonder is your ages.... how long has he been using heroin? and does he want to quit? for a long time none of us wanted to quit - we loved the stuff and wanted to keep doing it.... it isnt until we hit bottom that any of us started the battle to break free of this monster.... so i wonder what stage is he in? if he isnt sincerely trying to quit, then the advice about getting on methadone wont work, altho the only way i would stay if i was you would be if he gets into some form of treatment....

 

you have heard the term enabling? well, if you give him money or dope you are just keeping him on dope.... if he is to ever have the desire to get clean he will have to have hard times, and get sick, and lose everything just about..... as far as when he gets sick, it is only the begining.... there is nothing that helps except opiates, there is nothing you can do for him.... and the physical part, as bad as it is, is the easy part...... the mental part is the part i could never beat.... i moved so many times to get away from my connections, to start over, but i just couldnt get my mind free....

 

jana, you are in a no win situation ..... there are a lot of good men out there, too many for you to be hooking up with a  loser.

 

if you dont mind, tell us a little more, esp if you would answer the questions i asked.... but good luck and keep posting...

Hey, Walker, good to hear from you again. And, I gotta say, what a great bunch of dope fiends we've got weighing in here on Hectic Herons. Makes me proud. Please, Jana, keep us posted--even though I know you probably didn't care too much for the advice we had to give. Just bear in mind that we are being as honest as we know how and that advice is VERY hard won from our own fucked up lives.