I figured out how to get into other people's bank accounts through a friend. He worked at a bank, every one knew I knew him so they never asked any questions. I'd go to a different teller each time so no one clued into the different names/signitures I was using. As he only ever refered to me by my nickname (come to think of it I'm not sure he even knew my last name) I convinced myself there was no risk. He was one of the weekend crew so he never knew about my habit, if he found out it was to late. He would've been SCREWED - I'm talking up in the 5 figures, all coz I was HIS fiend (no I didn't forget the r).
I got kicked out of home (many times!!) and used the house keaper to get into the house, grab my stuff (I wasn't allowed to take it) and empty out every one of her cash stash's - which I had been 'borrowing' from for ages. She got fired..... DUH... She was lovely and always kind to me.
I used one of my oldest (& cleanest) friends to hock a whole lot of stuff (that maybe wasn't actually legally mine) for me. He would've been charged and been screwed out of his degree if he'd been caught - even if I had come forward (not that there was any chance of that).
'Borrowed' from work, and every casual friend who didn't know better (an oldy but a goody).
Ripped off a pot grower/dealer - one of my less intelligent moves.
Those are the ones I can remember off the top of my head - the ones I choose to remember (the ones that didn't land me in jail).
I've never met a 'morally upstanding' junkie. We all do shitty things to get what we need - drug user's or not. Our crimes are just more obvious as they are of the material kind, and mostly illegal!
What gets me through is the age old saying -
"What goes around comes around"
OR
"What comes around goes around"
Shit's gonna fly in both directions, it's all about dealing and ducking!!!!!
It's all part of the journey.
That's what I meant when I asked if forgiveness was more important from others or ourselves. What is the value of anothers forgiveness if we are incapable of forgiving ourselves? We don't need help from any one to punish ourselves for the rest of our lives. We can not be ruled by one persons emotions or oppinions. Who is punishing you? I'm guessing my behaviour hurt me more than any one else. That doesn't escuse what I did, or justify it. Thing is, if you think you are shit - you are - and you will never get of the round about. Doing some thing shitty, feeling guilty, easing your guilt (using), needing to survive (using), doing some thing shitty - or some thing like that - and ROUND and ROUND we go.
Any of this make sense?
If anything, take comfort in knowing you are not alone in your self loathing. You are in FINE company!!
AND
NO-ONE WATCHES YOU
AS CLOSELY AS YOU DO
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
First 
Return to General