smilin as the sun warms my skin

cryin as the scars come into view

rememberin a time when i was so lost

wandering down alleys deep in my thoughts

 

the pain in my past screams into my brain

wanting to run knowing to stop

dont want to use and die in the abyss

come too far to go out like this

 

be so easy to slide into the nod

back to the city of my youth

feeling the warmth course through my soul

takin me to a place where life takes its toll

 

feeling the peace the longing for space

floating alone free like a cloud

through time

endless and pain free

 

then i remember why i fought those urges

the scars and the pain

the sickness and hunger

the look in my kids eyes as they see the blood

drip onto the floor

and i miss another visit

 

too sick to stand up

too much pain to go on

begging to die

to end this misery

 

to go back to the beginning

when one shot would float me away

and life was good

no worries for money food or a roof

was young invincible and free

 

the chains of addiction were waiting

to wrap their links around my soul

pulling me down into the prison of the earth

tying me and holding me in their grasp

forever

 

to become one with the earth

to lie in the cold hard dirt

until my spirit dissolved and the chains broke away

and freedom was mine once again

 

I thank God every day for breaking me free from addiction - I think about using every day - heroin has its hold on me still - but with God's will I will not use...I will remember where I was and how I got here today...

 

peace

Diana