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| | From:  cletusnovak1 (Original Message) | Sent: 11/26/2007 4:47 AM |
Hi, This is my first post on here at H of H although I have known about the site for awhile. I am 21 years old and have been hooked on heroin for a couple of years. I have been in and out of 2 IOP's and 1 inpatient. I have stayed clean for 9 months but for the past month and a half, I have been in relapse. I told my girlfriend and parents, I will be returning to inpatient again this week. I am in the middle of withdrawaling right now. I would just like to ask for someone to pray for me through this physical pain and for the future. I am so tired of relapsing and dying inside, I am so tired of hurting those around me. I have lost 4 friends to drugs, and I am afraid that I am next. Please say a prayer for me...I don't want to die. |
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| | | From: Karen-_ | Sent: 11/26/2007 5:42 AM |
Hi Cletus, I am sending you out tons of love and positive energy. Good Luck in rehab. You are a beautiful spirit...you just have to realize it....  Love and Joy  Karen |
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Hi Cletus, My prayers go out to you and your family with this struggle of yours. I will keep you in my prayers that you get thru this next rehab fine and you learn more tools that will help you stay clean from H. Im glad you posted here, I think its helped SO MANY people not feel so all alone. I think when a person is doing drugs everyday they eventually feel all alone in this huge world and they need to know other people care. Your so young and have SO MUCH to live for, Love Karen |
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I want to thank both of the Karens' for their prayers, I am definitely going to need them. Lovingmom, I remember about 6 months ago reading your story about Gino, your son. I know it has been years, but let me say that I am so sorry for your loss. I remember crying when I first read your story. I read it to my girlfriend last night and she cried for hours. She has been with me for the past 5 1/2 years. She has been there before it was bad, when it got bad, when it was good, and when it turned bad again. I owe a lot to her. She said she cried so much for you and for me, and for all the other addicts. She said that the story reminded her a lot of me, different places and different times though. I am sure this story runs parallel with many other addicts out there in the world. It sounds like your son Gino had a lot of guilt and shame, the two things that both addiction therapists I have had had said to me. Gino's and all the other addict's deaths out there won't be in vain. I am sure just Gino's story has inspired at least one person, and if it even saves one person out of a million...(which I am sure it has) then we can still see that Gino is still working up there. Again, thank you so much for your prayers, I am going to print them and take them with me to rehab. - Eric |
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Hi Cletus, I just now read your post. I just want to say welcome to this little family here. You'll find lots of support. YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS luv, sue |
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| | | From: Karen-_ | Sent: 11/27/2007 4:12 PM |
Hi Eric, It sounds like you really have your head into getting better. That is half the battle right there. As for rehabs and other places those are only tools there is no magic bullet out there to getting and staying clean. That comes from shear determination and massive amounts of will power. I have been clean 21 yrs and what I have learned I learned I learned from repeating the same thing over and over and over until I got it. That is the hard way of doing things...believe me. I also learned that once I got clean the problems that I was numbing myself out from were still there. When I got honest with myself and started looking at my own dysfunctional patterns and reprogramming them is when I started to get well. That was many years after I got clean. There is no destination in healing only progess. I continue on a daily basis to work on those dysfunctions so I am able to enjoy life instead of wanting out of life. Soak in everything that is positive Eric and then run with it. Stay Focused and come back when you get out. Love and Joy Karen |
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Eric, When i first read your response here on H of H I read it outloud to My husband and We both felt a connection to Gino,. I Dont think its a coincidence. When GIno died he left the most wonderful women who adored him. She was a Non user and Had grown up with a Coke head Dad. Eric, I wish you all the luck and strength when you get into rehab and therapy. When you get a chance to do some reading, read up on Subuxen, Its a WONDERFUL drug. Ive been on it since Last March and Im now down to 3 mgs. I was physically addicted to pain meds. Every time i tried to wean off my pain got so bad i ended up going back up, and then i built up a tolerance, by the time I got to the doctor to go on the suboxen i was on 180mgs of morphine a day and I was dead menatally and physically and in SO Much pain, the morphine wasnt doing a damn thing.
Much Love Karen |
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Cleatus,I just saw your message,have not been on line in a few days my prayers go out for you ,You can do it,why, ? because you are still trying! my son has gone through this many times I sat with him while he went through withdrawls your family always will love you ,nancy |
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bubxen its true helped my son nancy |
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Nancy, do you mean Suboxone??? Its truely proving to be a wonderful addiction to treatment... Love to you all, Karen |
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Karen,Woops ,Yes that is was what I was trying to say,It is the only medication that helped my son,And where I live a rural area hard to get. Nancy |
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Nancy, Ive heard many many stories like your sons. So many people say that Suboxone has helped them when nothing else has.. Spread the word sweet lady. Im so happy to hear your son is doing so well. Much Love Karen |
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