Heritics of Heroin

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Please pray for my nephew, Mick. I got a phone call early yesterday morning from his father....it seems Mick was drinking again and cut his wrists really bad. I went to see him yesterday at the hospital, he had to get over 30 stapels in his arm. They sent him to a 'behavior institution' last night.

He is only 19. He has had such a hard life so far. His dad left the family and moved far away, across the country,leaving his mom with 4 little kids. His mom, my sister, died a few years ago, Mick came to live with me for a couple years, but then he went to live with his sister and after that it kinda went down hill. He didn't go to school anymore and he didn't get along with his sisters husband so he left and was living with some other people. I found out yesterday that the people were not a good influence at all.

God, I should have MADE him stay with me.

He told me he just "wanted to die". It just tore my heart out. He used to really look up to my son, Jesse, who was HIS age when HE committed suicide. I told him what ever problems he is having they won't last forever and that I loved him and he could stay with me WHENEVER he wanted. (I may force him to stay with me) He was always happy when he was with me. He went to school everyday and even went out all by himself and got a little job after school and was gettig really good grades. I dont know......I dont know why he wanted to live with his sister. Then with those people. I think he wanted to be "on his own" to feel grown up or something.

Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to ask you guys to keep Mick in your prayers, he needs them REAL bad. He feels so hopeless. What is it with 19 year old guys that they get so depressed???

(((Suzi))), Im so sorry to hear about Mick.

I will keep You and HIM in my prayers...

I hope when he gets out of the hospital he does realize hes still so young and needs someone like you to look after him.

It sounds like he is in need of extensive counseling to get thru all the left over baggage he has had to deal with...

Poor kid, Some kids just have such a tough life. LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

Sounds to me like your reliving alot of the pain you have had to go thru with Jesse. I pray things turn around for Mick soon.

If there is something I can do dont hestitate to call me, ok??

Hi Suzie, I recall when Mick was styaing with you for awhile a couple of years ago. Am I remembering right..there's a picture of him in your album here I think. Am really sorry to hear he's feeling so tired of life. I know it seems almost impossible that one so young wouldn't want to live anymore..but it can and does happen every single day..many times over too. I tired when I was 16..not once either. The last time I ended up in a coma and they told my mother there was a 95% chance of brain damage. I swallows at least 30 tuinal's..was high before I finsihed getting them down..went to bed and hoped to never wake up. Long story short..I somehow was still alive the next morning..apparently my mother had come in during the night and didn't like the way was my head was positioned so she turned it to the side..as a result the vomit was on my pillow and I didn't choke on it. She had a friend call an ambulance where I was pronounced DOA a few minutes before arriving at the hospital. When I look back today I feel blessed to still be here because I know so many who try never wake up again. But when I finally came around in ICU 3 days later I was still high and my first reaction after I got my bearings was "Fuck..I can't believe I'm still alive." I was so angry and disappointed..I began ripping the IV's out of my body and the catheter (yea ouch). The staff came in and I passed out again..waking up much later. To this day I can;t reallys ay 'why' I wanted so much to not be on this planet anymore. Did I see it as dieing..no not really..more like a long sleep I was in desperate need of. The world around me was so disappointing..everything I'd beleived about people and life had been proven worng...or so I thought at the time. Today I realise it's the way life plays itself out..and the bad times are compensated by the good. Back then it all just seemed so hopeless. I guess I wasn't properly equipped at the time to understand that. Mick has been through alot in his young life..and I bet if you ask him 'why' he'll answer sort of the same as I did. What's the answer then Suzie..I am trying to think what I would have needed then..maybe peace and quiet for awhile..a place and people who just loved me..simple things..young things..I wsas tired of being an adult already at 16..and a good therapist. I got the first two..but I refused to see a therapist back then..it was a condition of my release from hosipital though. So I went but only because I had to..soon afterwards I talked my way out of going. Wish I'd known then how much help it would have been to me.

MY thoughts and prayers are with Mickey and your whole family..I pray he heals..begins to see the life he was meant to have and live. He's in a lonely place right now and needs a friend. You may be just the right person he needs.

God bless you guys for your prayers and thoughts. I'm so worried about Mick. He is in a 'behavior institution' pretty close to my house so I can go see him easy.

I was thinking about writing him a letter. When I see him in person, just sitting there all sad and hurt, it hurts me so much and it screws up my head so much I can't say what I want. Maybe if I write to him it'd be easier.

But thankyou so much.

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