Hey, Just wanted to say "hang in there"and that I'm praying for you.

Take care

Dona

 

thanks so much dona it means a lot to me that SOMEONE finally said something

Hi Snayl-  I want to apologize for not posting earlier.  I know I would have been really pissed off if I had been making the posts you've made and no one responded.  I've gotten pissed for people not responding to posts where I was under so much stress than you are right now.

 

I know how hard the withdrawal you're going thru is and the tremendous strength you've shown in being able to ride it out, take the minimum amount of methadone necessary and basically just tough it out is something I could never do.  I always ended up drinking all the meth I had bought to detox myself.  It seems like you're thru the worst of the physical part, and you deserve major props for that.  But as hard as that is, in my opinion, the REALLY hard part starts now- staying clean once you've got thru the withdrawal.

 

Do you have any  plans as to what you're going to do differently this time?  Or plans to help you in some way when those cravings become so strong?  I feel that's so important- for some people NA or AA has worked, others have used counseling or therapy, others have done various other things, some have just gone it alone.  Whatever route you take, it will be hard, but you will always have the support of this board (even if you feel like you've been ignored the last few days).  Everyone kind of has to find their own way, but it doesn't have to be alone.  I hope that you find yours. If there's any way at all that I can help, I'm here.  Again, sorry for not writing earlier.

 

Marco

Hey, I know that sometimes it seems that no one is here when you need them, but we all are.  I read your post from Thursday and thought about it and had really good intentions of posting , but time got the better of me and didn't respond until Friday. Doesn't mean that you were out of my thoughts and prayers tho. I think what you are doing is comendable, and shows great resolve,  but it is a very tough road. Like Marco said, I hope that you have some plan as to a support system once you get clean. That is truly when the HARD part starts.

Let us know how things are going for you today. I PROMISE that I will respond.

Take care

Dona

 

 

 

 

 

 

thanks sophia (& x) but this doesn't TECHNICALLY help me cause i CANNOT change the things that keep me on it... & i DO NOT believe in any sort of higher power. 

 

i did take a few things from here though that WILL help AND just the fact that someone else replied to my post & actually cares helps in itself..

 

Thanks to both of u

thank you everyone who posted.

 

while doing it, i developed such bad panic attacks & hypoglycemia that i am pretty much UNABLE to leave my house under ANY circumstances.  so this IS my NA so to speak.

 

i have stayed off so far, i haven't even BEEN to my counselor because i can't leave the house.  but if i DO go... i cannot say anything because if i DO i will be taken off of SSI - which i'm on because of my panic attacks

 

this month i am trying as much as possible to eat according to a hypoglycemic patient's diet.  next month w/my own money, instead of drugs i'll buy what i need for my diet.  when my diet stablizes i SHOULD be able to get to a dr.  then i can apply for food stamps which will help greatly & possibly get testing supplies for my condition.

 

so far i have noticed a MAJOR difference in my ability to handle outside stimuli (even taking a few short walks from home ALONE or w/my b/f) when i do not have sugar & eat protein meals on time.  i also notice how i relapse back to my paranoid panicky state when i DO have sugar - sometimes waking w/an incredible sugar hangover! 

 

i get my food thru the generosity of my b/f's mom, but right now she's paying for his H so we get what food she can give... it's NOT cheap to eat protein every 3 hours & I'M not related to her so........ she does her best but lately my diet has been going more & more downhill.  i NEED to wait till the first & USE my money for my OWN purposes. 

 

i think the REAL test comes then.  for now... it's been easy to stay off cause i don't know when she'll decide she's not givin money for a single bag more & when she does, i don't want to be sick again & there'll BE no money for methadone...

good & legitimate questions my friend. 

 

i am on section 8 - the ONLY way i can afford a place to live.  i HAVE to remain RIGHT WHERE I AM for 3 years, it's been 6 months.  unbeknownst to me i moved right 'under the supply' if you catch my drift - my upstairs neighbors are VERY helpful wink wink

 

then there's my b/f who uses & lives w/me, another thing i cannot change but THIS THING I DO NOT WISH TO CHANGE

thanks a LOT wildibrigain

 

I also had a problem with the higher power thing.I started to read books on different spiritual philosophies,such as buddhism and taoism,which I can digest much easier than christianity.The way I see it,the bottom line as far as all religions go is the same.Buddha was just a man and not a God,so  I can identify with his principals much easier.Hope this helps