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Ugh! There's really nothing else that'd sum things up for Christian Michaels professionally lately. But ya know things will eventually start to change ifyou endure, press on, refuse to give up. And those folks are phrases that would describe your Southern Heartthrob perfectly. CM has seen it with his own eyes and heard it with his own ears and felt it with his own hands. For last Friday's "Silence is Golden" the Heartthrob was looking for a fight. Any fight he could get and he got to smack King Slender around. A lil payback, if you will, for Slender's part in embarassing Wall$treet. Now on the next ICWA show, Three way Dance, Christian Michaels and Whysper have a chance to redeem their tag team titles. So this reassures him that David Van Dam can only duck and dodge his fate for so long.
Now that the Southern Heartthrob is assured of that he can begin to focus on the immediate future. That means putting the focus on the titular match of the ICWA event for the twentieth of this month. Of course that'd be the big tag team three-way dance for the gold. Its the now defending champions Six an Rising putting it all on the line against needle dick's Redtard-Emo Army and the former champs The Southern Heartthrob himself and Whysper.
Ladies and gentlemen this match....this main event....is serious business. Mason and Shattered Soul walk into this match with nothing to lose and everything to gain. But its not the same for teh champs and former champs. Regardless of the outcome of this match the teams of Six an Rising and CM an Whysper will never be booked as tag team opponents ever again. Bottom line? Messiah's right when he says that this is one team's last chance unless his team wins or the other team eventually loses the belts. So needless to say the stakes are at an extreme high here. But never fear ladies an gents, these two guys, CM an Whysper, they thrive in these situations.
The other day we witnessed The Messiah trying to force his religious beliefs upon everyone who happened by him. Well today folks the scene fades in with CM at the local Greenville Wal-Mart finishing up an autograph signing. There's an ICWA camera crew here that's been getting footage for the website. I guess they're going to use it to show how ICWA gives back to their fans and whatnot. Anyways though, as people are takingd own the lil booth that was set up CM has asked for the camera crew to shoot a promo. They give him the greenlight and its on.
Ya know, Needle Dick, guys like you are why I'm not a very religious man. I mean all ya do is stand on ya soapbox and preach your views to everyone. Which wouldn't be so bad if ya did it in ya church or whatnot. But ya don't do that. Instead ya wanna go out on the streets and try an force your views, opinion, and religion on everyone.
CM shakes his head.
It makes me sick to my stomach. And judging by the reactions you've been getting, I'm not the only personw ho feels that way. But what could ya expect? Needle Dick you're taking these good people and trying to change them and their views. That's why that hate a jerkoff like you and love someone like me. I accept my fans as they are, for who they are. I love the people who pay their money every week to see me compete in an ICWA ring. Cause honestly? They don't have to spend that money to see me kicking ass and taking names. We're in some tough economic times and there's other things these people could spend that hard earned money on. Fact of the matter though is they choose to spend it to see me fight with all I have against scum like you and your goons. I appreciate that where you? You obviously don't.
Michaels points to the fans still standing around to witness this promo. The camera pans around to show them and they of course cheer and all that. The camera then returning to focus on CM.
You don't appreciate these fans spending their money to see us. Like I said, you want ta change them. Well hey pal I've seen your kind before in Michigan. In fact you sound alot like this preacher I had ta deal with there. In fact your names even kinda rhyme.
The Heartthrob strokes his chin.
Hey that isn't really you is it Josiah? Ya didn't lose a few pounds, cut ya hair, and spend too much time in a tanning bed did ya?
A lil more pause to think on it.
Hmm. I haven't seen you trying to trick lil kids into a van with candy Needle Dick......Guess you're not Josiah afterall, but ya do remind me of him. But I guess its neither here nor there really. What is here though is that we're days away from me taking some retribution outta ya boys.
I heard ya preachin that you and ya boys need no cover of darkness to make attacks. But hey, you'll have to forgive me if I don't believe ya. I know it was your boys that came in and did the damage. Yeah I felt the DDT before my own lights went out. And what a co-winky-dink that Shattered Soul loves the DDT too. Look I know I'm looked at by you as some kind of inbred hick, but even still I can add one and one up to get two. Now I fully expect you'll continue to deny yawl's involvment in that night though. Fine. Go ahead and deny it. But in the end? Its not gonna stop me from getting a lil payback from your boys.
I know folks, you're all wondering if CM's playing with a full deck. He's talking about getting retribution on a team that includes that beast Mason Caine. Well rest assured he is, but first the target is gonna be Shattered Soul.
Lemme start with you Shattered Soul. Ya know I don't quite get what your deal is man. All I know is that get this feeling that you weren't hugged enough as a kid. But I could be way off base. Maybe what's more accurate is that ya daddy got a lil too loving with ya as a child. Hmm? Is that how it was? Daddy touch you in ya no-no place as a young boy?
Honestly I don't really care what brung yer emo ass to Needle Dick's flock. What matters to me is that a few weeks ago you let Needle Dick convince you it was a good idea to cost Whysper and I the tag team titles. And I guess maybe ya think he was right since ya have a shot at those straps next week. But there's an old saying somewhere saying ya should beware of false prophets. See ole Needle Dick put you on borrowed time when he had ya come into the ring, DDT me, and end up costing me an Whysper the straps.
Now the grains of sand are running through the hour class, counting down til I get ta break my foot off in yer ass! Because that's exactly what I'm gonna do to you Shattered Soul! When this match is over not only will your soul be shattered, but so will your jaw. And you'll wish that you'd told Needle Dick to stuff it when he came calling uipon you.
Now that leaves Mason to address.
Mason, I'd adress you but I'm not really sure you'd understand anything I said unless it involved candybars. So lemme address you once again Needle Dick. You're prolly thinking you're going to manage your team in their first match to the tag team titles. And maybe you're right Needle Dick. maybe you're right on the money. Look I'll be honest and tell ya that Mason is one of the few people in this business that worries me when I step in the ring with him. He's a true behemoth in every definition of the word. But don't think that I won't go full on at that bastard. I'll do everything in my power to chop that big oak down to size.
CM kinda shrugs.
And hey, if the tree falls on me then so be it....As long as in the end its chopped down.
But I gotta wonder what you're gonna do to prepare Mason for an attack like that Needle Dick. Hell I wonder if you CAN tell Mason to do anything he doesn't wanna do. And that's something ya need ta think about. There's only one man I've ever seen Mason explicitly listen to and you ain't him. Not even close. So I'd suggest instead of trying to "save" everyone else's soul ya worry about ya own for a bit.
And for the time being that was it for "The Brethern". It was time ta discuss CM an Whysper's heated rivals, Six and Rising Inc. The past few months these two teams have seen more of each other than their own loved ones. And now, this coming Friday it was gonna happen again.....for the last time.
Six and Rising......Wow guys. What can ya really say besides that simple lil three letter word? I mean we've been tearing each other apart for months now for those belts around your waist.
CM shakes his head here.
Guys I'd love to call you the Tag champs but I just can't bring myself to it. See through the wars we've waged against one anothe rin this ring, I developed a respect for you guys. Sure you've got questionable tactics, but no one can say that you guys can't stand toe to toe with the best of them. And that I can respect. What I can't respect though is the two of yawl calling yourselves champions.
Now the Heartthrob makes that "tsk tsk" sound someone makes when ya done something ya shouldn't have done.
It actually amazes me that the two of you can look at yaselves in the mirror and utter the phrase: "We're the champions". Because while you possess those ICWA tag belts, you're not really the champions. Hey I'm not even going to say that Whysper and I are still really the champs. No we have uncrowned champs in Mason and Shattered Soul. Because despite the speil that Needle Dick is on, the four of us know that those two are the ones that beat myself and Whysper. Not you!
So even though its taking alot on my plate this Friday, I'm going to make sure you guys understand once and for all...
CM holds up his index finger on the right hand.
Just once more myself and Whysper will show you guys that we've got your number in the ring. But, and I can't believe I even need to address this...
Its true ladies an gents. CM wishes he could just be safe in the assumption that he an Whysper will enter this match as a team. But everyone has seen that lately this partnership is strained at best.
Whysper.....Brotha look I understand everything that's going on in your life is making ya a lil loco up here..
Michaels taps the side of his head.
But man when those lights go on and the music plays this week all that has to go out the window. You an I gotta put any quarrels we have with one another off to the side. We gotta step it up and we gotta be the team that took the division by storm. So partna I'm not asking ya, I'm begging ya ta be the Whysper that has my back this week! Be my friend! My buddy! My pal!....My partner!
The fans hoop an holler as CM implores Whysper, wherever he is, to show up ready to go to work Friday night. The scene fading out as CM signs a few more autographs on his way out of Wal-Mart.
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