I don’t know that many people here (but hopefully that will change J ) yet I feel compelled to give my testimony. Maybe it will help some other people, maybe it will show some people how great God can move in our lives. But either way, here it is�?

Growing up my parents didn’t go to church or take my sister, brother and I. We were always told we were Christian, but I think it was more a habit to say it then any actual meaning behind it. Yet as a child I had this voice inside me that made me somehow know that Jesus was there.

For as far back as I can remember I have suffered from depression. It escalated to the point of suicidal thoughts, eating disorders and self harm when I was in my early teens. I lost most of my friends (the ones that I kept weren’t very good ones) and pushed my family away because of this. I went from being very close to my parents to them not knowing me (or how to help me) at all. I didn’t know what to do to get out of it and just wanted it all to end. In the back of my head I had the thought that maybe religion was the answer, so I started exploring various religions and got drawn into Wicca. For about four years I claimed to be Wiccian and even did a few spells. During this time I got involved with a guy who was an alcoholic and was emotionally abusive to me. Partly because of my relationship with him I too started to drink, I didn’t get to the point that I was an alcoholic but I wasn’t that far off. No matter how hard I tried to make myself belief that what I was doing was right and okay I knew deep down inside that something was wrong, and it ended up making my depression worse and made me hurt myself more and more. It seemed to be an endless cycle. I hide this all from my family and the couple friends that I managed to hang on too, I knew they wouldn’t understand. Finally I got to the point one night that I decided that I couldn’t handle it all anymore and took some pills and drank a flask of vodka, thinking that I would just go to sleep and not wake up. Lucky for me it didn’t work out that way, I got sick…very very sick.

I would like to say that everything changed for me then and I turned to Christ. But I’m a very stubborn person, instead I decided that I wanted things to change so I ended it with my boyfriend and went to stay with my sister to clear my head. After a couple months I knew that I had to be home to truly work things out. So I moved back home to do my first year of college there. At the college there was this one guy that was in most of my classes and we started talking. The talking at school lead to a friendship. With him I felt like I could talk about anything. He was Christian and we would get into discussions about God and church, things I felt like I could not talk about with anyone. He questioned me on my beliefs and my life, asked me questions no one else would. He made me really look at myself and give into the feelings I still had deep down inside me that Jesus is there for me. Yet I still had the thought that I needed to fix my life before I could ask Jesus into it, I didn’t understand that I without Him I could never truly be healed. I do understand that now and have opened my heart to Jesus. I am now free from the depression and no longer half troubles with eating disorders or self harm. I feel�? new. Through Jesus anything is possible�? I never believed that before. Now I know just how true it is!! I praise the Lord every day for all the blessings He has given me!