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(1 recommendation so far) Message 1 of 988 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBud1800  (Original Message)Sent: 1/12/2008 10:04 PM
Blonde Christmas Story

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching
for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few
close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and
said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether
it's decorated or not!"

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 Message 988 of 988 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBud1800Sent: 2/11/2009 1:25 PM
Secrets Of Personal Growth
As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels
of suspicion and paranoia.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that
are someone else's fault.

I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I
want to stay employed.

In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.

I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no
personality at all.

Joan of Arc heard voices too.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious,
self-righteous people around me.

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me
in many ways to keep me quiet.

When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a
lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

The first step is to say nice things about myself.
The second, to do nice things for myself.
The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts.

I am at one with my duality.

Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with
imaginary fears.

I will strive to live each day as if it were my 69th birthday.

I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and
local laws.

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no
sweeter words than "I told you so!"

False hope is better than no hope at all.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my
underwear in the Dream Motel. Instead, I will move my computer into
the bedroom.

Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a minute. . . . I'll
find someone.

A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it
worrying about the future?

The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy
is working.

I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the
next step of blaming my parents.

To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like
I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to
learn from them.

Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if
he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

All of the evil that I speak, hear, and see, are pleasurable to me.

The only friend I have...moved to parts unknown.

When counting my blessings, I count backwards from one.

They no longer allow me into the confessional.

The person I admire the most is Elmer Fudd.

I enjoy watching a magazine stand.

Experience shows that people who write, can't be trusted.

When I am here I wish I was there....and I am.

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