1. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." Rodney Dangerfield.
2. "Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams.
3. "A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing." Duane Dewel
4. "When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." Helen Rowland
5. "I have never really understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts already well catered for in any respectable domestic establishment." Alan Bennett
6. "Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe." Jackie Mason
7. "Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel." Leonardo Di Vinci.
8. "I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house." Lewis Grizzard.
9. "I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern." Mickey Rooney.
10. "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." Rodney Dangerfield.
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