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1. "In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows."
Woody Allen
2. "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."
Woody Allen
3. "Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman."
Woody Allen
4. "My problems all started with my early education. I went to a school for mentally disturbed teachers."
Woody Allen
5. "My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."
Woody Allen
6. "My wife and I pondered for a while whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."
Woody Allen
7. "Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate."
Woody Allen
8. "I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's about Russia."
Woody Allen
9. "Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night."
Woody Allen
10. "On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down."
Woody Allen |
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11. "I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher. They are going to make a board game out of it."
Woody Allen
12. Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
Woody Allen
13. "My brain, that's my second favourite organ."
Woody Allen
14. "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love ."
Woody Allen From 'Annie Hall' 1977.
15. "If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips."
Woody Allen
16. "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'."
Woody Allen
17. "I failed to make the chess team because of my height."
Woody Allen
18. "The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers."
Woody Allen
19. "Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions."
Woody Allen
20. "I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
Woody Allen |
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