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| | | From: Thabita (Original Message) | Sent: 2/23/2005 12:42 AM |
The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers' found in churches across the United States.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The outreach Committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
Evening massage- 6:00 p.m..
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him there electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
Low self-esteem support group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. please use the back door.
Ushers will eat latecomers.
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rev. Meriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will saying, " Break Forth Into Joy."
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs' supplied our pulpit.
Next Sunday, Mrs. Benson will be soloist for morning service. The pastor will then speak on " It's a Terrible Experience.".
Due to the Rector's, illness, Wednesdays' healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Stewardship offertory: " Jesus Payed It All".
Please attend our bean dinner next Wednesday night, music will follow. |
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