Some people consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.
Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates. Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors.
Heaven: Eternal. Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours.
Heaven: Where old people go when they expire. Wal-Mart: Where old people go when the retire.
Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God. Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone.
Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God. Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers.
Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin. Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint.
Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully. Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every day low prices.
Heaven: Sam Walton -- now a resident! Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale!
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