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| | From: Frazze (Original Message) | Sent: 6/24/2005 11:13 PM |
Law of Cat InertiaA cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat MotionA cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat ThermodynamicsHeat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat StretchingA cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat SleepingAll cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Cat ElongationA cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
Law of Cat ObstructionA cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
Law of Cat AccelerationA cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
Law of Dinner Table AttendanceCats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
Law of Rug ConfigurationNo rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
Law of Obedience ResistanceA cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
First Law of Energy ConservationCats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy ConservationCats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
Law of Refrigerator ObservationIf a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket AttractionTurn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
Law of Random Comfort SeekingA cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
Law of Bag/Box OccupancyAll bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
Law of Cat EmbarrassmentA cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Milk ConsumptionA cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
Law of Furniture ReplacementA cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law of Cat LandingA cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
Law of Fluid DisplacementA cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
Law of Cat DisinterestA cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill RejectionAny pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat CompositionA cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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