The nice thing about being senile is you can
hide your own Easter eggs.
* Just before the funeral services, the
undertaker came up to the very elderly
widow and asked,
"How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than
me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going
home is it?"
* * * * *
I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass
surgeries. A hip replacement, new
knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes.
I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40
different medications that make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia. Have
poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and
feet anymore. Can't remember if
I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But.....Thank God, I still have my
Florida driver's license!
***********
An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to
prepare her will. She told her
rabbi she had two final requests. First, she
wanted to be cremated, and
second, she wanted her ashes scattered over
Walmart
"Walmart!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why
Walmart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me
twice a week.
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