Ever wonder.....................
1 Ever wonder about those people who
spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian
water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE.
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a
restaurant like making a peeing section in a
swimming pool?
3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars
are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the
Tennessee Titans?
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from
diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
5 There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the
Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the
Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each
other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
6. If people from Poland are called
Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as
adults enjoy adultery?
8. If a pig loses its voice, is it
disgruntled?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight
packages, aren't they just stale bread to begin
with?
10. Why is a person who plays the piano
called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar
is not called a racist?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced
onety one?
12. If lawyers are disbarred and
clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians
denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree
surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge,
would they call it Fed UP?
14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee
breaks?
15. What hair color do they put on the
driver's licenses of bald men? They sure put
strange colors on everyone else's hair...
16. I was thinking about how people seem
to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get
older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for
their final exam.
17. I thought about how mothers feed
their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so
I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, toothpicks?
18. Why do they put pictures of
criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just
put their pictures on the postage stamps so the
mailmen can look for them while they deliver the
mail?
19. If it's true that we are here to
help others, then what exactly are the others here
for?
20. You never really learn to swear
until you learn to drive.
21. Ever wonder what the speed of
lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
22. If a cow laughed, would milk come
out of her nose?
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A
through G?
24. Why do they call a women's prison a
penal institution?
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