i just finished my dishes yesterday as well! lol I had a muffin pan from Thursday, a frying pan from Friday and then a bunch from over the week-end and Monday. Of course, now I have supper dishes from last night and I believe I still have the girls' lunch dishes but MUCH easier to deal with.

 

It's so sad that I can't even manage to keep up with the dishes. I constantly have little things lying around. Not huge messes (on the main floor, at least) but my house looks awful anyways because of this or that here or there. I have very little desire to keep up. Now, I'm hoping it's just cause I feel like poop but I believe I was somewhat feeling like that before getting pregnant. Maybe it's cause we're moving too. I almost feel like keeping things organized is pointless cause it all needs to be packed anyways. Plus, I have a bunch of things I'm starting to go through so that means big messes in the meantime (ie Barbie stuff in basement!)

 

I had a fairly good day yesterday up until before I had to pick up the kids. I'm not sure if it was something I ate but my word, I was stuck on the toilet for a good 15 mins which is ODD for me. I ended up going to bed around 9:30 and woke up at 12 when dh came home from baseball and felt feverish, like I was going to puke or poop my pants but stayed in bed. I'm still kinda feeling like that this morning (not feverish) so I'm not too motivated to rush around the house. I do have stuff I want to do but it would be VERY forced (though maybe that's what I need?!)

 

This morning, I have some running around and Delaney has swimming lessons. Of course, if I still feel the need to be close to a toilet, I may just forget about some errands.

 

I think I'll make up a list!

I think you and I both need to keep some kind of routine and organization even though we're both motivated to do bigger projects - me heavy cleaning and you packing.  Otherwise it's depressing and things snowball and a lot of time and energy is wasted working around all these little messes.  So let's try to keep some kind of small pickup routine every day - are you with me??

 

Sounds like you are having a terrible time with your stomach lately.  Thanks for reminding me what it's like to be pregnant - after 7 years I had forgotten all the crappy yuckiness that goes with it!  But you should stop telling me how Timmy is getting into this or that - believe it or not, from my vantage point that now sounds cute!!!  Altho when my kids were doing it (moreso than now I mean -  Chane still does it sometimes) it drove me nuts!  But I read it on here and think "awww."  LOL  So stop!  I'm trying to forget about wanting another baby! :-)  j/k of course

 

Once again it would be nice to live near each other.  I'd love company today while I putter and I'd be happy to come over later and go thru all your Barbie stuff and whatnot that needs to be sorted before packing.  Misery loves company I guess .

 

I think I"m going to waste a little time and take pictures.  My house feels awful but it doesn't sound that bad on paper.  I think my new goal for this week is to get it surface clean and neat.  I have in the back of my mind that if I can get the house neat and cleaned by November, I can maybe do some projects I've put off for years.  The bad things that jump out at me all the time.  Like repainting the banister (correctly this time which is why I've put it off - quick painting it is what I did last time and why it's all chipped - I need to sand, prime, sand, paint, and seal it twice).  And I'd like to finish baseboards in the living room and hallway.  There are a couple of other inexpensive things I'd like to do that would make a big difference in my mood around here.

I started a list but then the kids got on here and before you know, it's lunch time. Plus, I wanted to reply to messages so I'll have to go back and do a list, possibly.

 

Ah, yeah, you definitely don't want to go through the pregnancy and baby years again! lol I must say, Timmy is fun, even if he makes a big mess and is a trouble maker. He's in the stage of 'what's that?" and has even started with the "momma, watch this (at least that's what it sounds like and it definitely is said to get my attention and then he does something like blow bubbles in the tub water today.)

 

Yeah, it would definitely be nice to live close to each other! I had a friend when I lived in Orillia, who would come over lots. But, we usually just sat and went through cookbooks and just talked rather than do. lol We had grand ideas of baking lots together or I thought I'd clean while she chatted with me but that didn't really happen.

 

I would love to have someone to kick my butt into shape for getting back into a routine of just doing general pick up and cleaning (dishes, etc.) I feel so down when someone stops by or knowing I'm doing daycare with these messes around. Are they harmful? No, but it doesn' tmake me feel too good.

 

I'm having a down time. I came home from running around and Delaney's swimming lessons, to a message from my dad. Now, I haven't really been talking to my parents since I told them at the beginning of Sept, that I'm expecting and that Andrew is moving back. They reacted strongly and my dad refused to help us out with a mortgage (he's a mortgage broker.) I know it's a lot of news to take in and I'd expect them to be upset but there has been no apology on their side or any trying to understanding of why I can't just let a marriage go. Sure, Andrew has his moments but they seemed to focus just on his bad and forget that I had an equal part in the issues in our marriage as well. They do NOT want him going to family things which again, I can somewhat understand but I'm not keen on driving 2 hrs and doing family functions with 3 kids in tow, all by myself and knowing how tired and blah I'm feeling. I know they'd help out but still, it's not appealing. Plus, how do I explain that to the kids? (oh, sorry, nanny and poppa don't like daddy anymore so he's not going to be visiting them.)

 

Sooo, whenever I see my parents call, it always gets me a tad upset. My dad was quite sarcastic (saying, remember me?) and asked if me and the kids were going to my nanny and poppa's 50th wedding anniversary thing and he said probably not because you'll dis-own them like you have, us. So, that kind of hurts and just is frustrating. Do I want this? No, not really but I don't want things to be awkward and leave Andrew out of things on my side. He knows they don't want him at things and is fine with that but I"M not ok with it nor would the kids be. I'd have to say that I'd be very upset if Andrew's family didn't want me at family functions.

 

Plus, Andrew's doing this side work that makes us a fair amount of money. I have a feeling that they are having issues. Andrew has a tendency to put a lot of work into something when it's new but lose interest in it and not place it so high on his list of priorities which I believe is what happened here. Of course, this whole month has been crazy with him moving back here, school starting, sports ending and starting and the house thing so he hasn't been able to put a lot of emphasis on it. But, I have a feeling they may tell him they don't need him anymore. He's supposed to call a guy tonight. Augh. We were hoping for some extra income.

 

I can definitely tell that the Effexor really helped me. I've been taking it daily since the dose I skipped on Sunday, I believe it was... or Saturday. But, it's half of what I was normally taking and I can see that I'm a little more uptight about things, I get down more easily and I'm very anxious about things like money and Andrew's job. So, I'm pretty much back to how I was before I started on this. I wasn't sure that it made a big difference but I'm seeing now that it actually did help me, a lot. And, because I'm anxious about things, it means I'm more snappy with people. Maybe I should stick with this, especially knowing anxiety runs in my family and could be something genetic that won't just go away and may have me relying on medication. I am worried about what it's doing to the baby but the only info I found out there is that there's a chance of withdrawl but if I'm nursing, I don't see how that could be so bad on the baby.

 

I'm thankful my midwife appt is in a week cause I'll definitely be bringing this up to them. If she tells me to get off of it though, I'm not sure I'd want to start back on it since I can see that it's a HUGE pain to wean off of.

 

Augh, sorry for the blabbing. So, I'm not sure I'll get much done since I'm feeling blah. I think I'll see if Timmy is ready for his nap and grab a quick one as well. Gotta stop worrying about Andrew's side job cause that's not going to change anything.

From what you are saying about your antidepressant, the problem with going off of it is realizing how much it helped and having to deal with no having that help anymore.  So I hope if you go off of it for your pregnancy you'd consider going back on it.  It does sound like you are able to view things differently with help controlling your thoughts and emotions. 

 

You know you have to settle this with your family right?  I can totally understand where they are coming from - we found out one of my sister's boyfriends was not good to her and we drove him away once.  My husband, my brother and my other sister's boyfriend were all ready to go kick his butt.  My parents are more understanding but I can totally understand the protectiveness.  On the other hand, you have to tell them they need to respect your choices but that you hope that if anything happens down the road they will be there for you if you need them.  It's very very very hard for anyone on the outside of a relationship to get what is going on on the inside.  If you were being abused they should definitely step in and help you but like you said, your relationship was suffering from both of you.  If I were Andrew I wouldn't want to go to any functions but your parents need to understand that you can't be expected to drag along 3 kids, especially a 1yo, while pregnant to go as far away as they live.  Tell them that you want to come, and you understand how they feel about Andrew but don't think it's healthy for your kids to exclude him and that you can't come without his help anyway and ask them what they think you could do to resolve all those issues?  By email if that helps - there's no way I could talk to my parents about anything like that deeply in person or on the phone but email is good because it helps you get things out coherently and you can follow up by phone or in person if you need to.  But please tell your dad nicely that sarcasm doesn't help and that you would never disown them - that you are doing the best you can right now in your life but you need their help to keep your family and yourself sane and healthy and moving forward.

 

{{{{hugs}}}

 

I saw your comment about my house - I hope I'm not distracting you too much with pictures!!!  I have spent more time probably taking and fixing up and posting pics than actual cleaning today lol.  But if I weren't doing it this way I don't think I'd be getting much done.  I need the constant motivation today.  Thank you for your comments about the house - it's funny you say that based on the pics of my "undecorated" rooms lol.  Especially the office - it's all castoffs and I hate it.  I do not like things out in the open and I feel like it's so exposed!  I love my family room couches but they are so filthy and stained and ripped.  My mom gave me back the tablecloths I gave her for curtains so I decided to save them for down here in the family room only they don't go at all with the couches.  If you look at the "before" pic of the floor beside my desk you'll see two pkgs of plaid tablecloths - those will eventually be curtains down here but not until my couches are totally beyond help and I finally break down and re-cover them (dont' see that happening for a long time since anything new would also get ruined).  I love my laundry room ceramic and would love to have that all thru my kitchen, dining room, and around the sides of the playroom upstairs but it's so expensive and our laminate is only about 7 years old.  Or 6, I forget.  The ceramic in the office area was put down by Scott and me when I was about 7 months pregnant with Braeden and didn't realize how nasty white grout would get.  I woud love to regrout it but don't want to have dark grout lines running beside the light tile - as it is, it's gotten so grungy it's almost the same tannish color as the tiles anyway!  Yes, it's supposed to be bright white!!!  I learned my lesson from that one.  My floors will stay exactly as they are until the kids are grown and gone or until we sell this house and have to replace them.  They may look okay in pictures but most of our flooring is very worn and grungy.  Not as worn as an older house but all my carpets are at least 10 years old, some 11 and some 17 not including Chane's room which we had to replace a couple of years ago when Mowgli ruined it but then he peed on it again so it's smelly.  I have a great guy who comes in and cleans it though (for mega $$) and he makes it look really good - maybe next year I'll have that done again but I can't afford it.  He gets rid of stains, not just on the surface so they don't "float" back up again like other carpet cleaners I've had.

 

I'm babbling.  Again!  Anyway I just posted my dining room and kitchen.  The kitchen I did clean a bit - wipe down the stovetop and the counters plus washed a few dishes.  I didn't sweep though.  I didn't want to get distracted.  I'm dreading the playroom but thinking maybe I should go in there.  Crap I just remembered Rocky which means I'll need to have snack ready to go and dinner needs to be quick and easy when we get home since it will be really late...