So, I'm determined. I'm tired of this place I'm in, we're in, as a family. i know getting off of my medication has totally screwed me up and I'm realizing it does make a difference but I've come this far, I'm going to get off of it completely so my labour can go as smoothly as can be. I think I can function enough without it that it's not a choice between my sanity or the health of the baby. I've felt so stinkin' selfish lately that to choose myself over the baby would completely put me to shame.

 

Our house is slowly getting there. I'm feeling a tad better about it. I'm having some panic attacks about money. I need more daycare kids, plain and simple. At this point, I'm willing to take anyone, even if it means giving up my days with just my kids. It's not forever. But, I've also prayed about it and feel calm, knowing that God is in control. I will do what I can to make sure we're not friviously spending and He'll take care of the rest.

 

Dh can see I'm stressed out. I had a bad morning, kids were 10 mins late for school because of various things (waiting around for a daycare kid who never showed, Laura having a freak out attack because jerky Gavin took her snowpants, me trying to get everyone in the right boots (finding my boots as well) and mitts/hats.) Anyways, dh gave me some suggestions plus knowing that his ultimate goal is that I won't have to do daycare somewhat helps... I feel more like he's on my side and he isn't all about the money, no matter what.

 

So, I made a procrastination list. Tonight, over supper likely, we're going to prioritize the list and see what we can do about them. I have one of just house stuff and then 'other.'

 

Oh yeah, a positive update. Winnie was found!! Someone found him on Sat. and brought him back to us :) I'm so thankful because I was so close to getting a new cat. Sure, I'd still like a second cat but money-wise, it would hurt right now. Winnie is perfectly fine except he still wants to escape! lol I realized how much we all missed him and how quiet our house is without him. It's weird.

 

So, I'm hoping to be around, a tad, this week. I'll need some kicks, I'm sure. I'm struggling with anxiety so I need kicks there, that's for sure. This is my second day without medication. I havent' skipped 2 days in a row since I've taken this stuff! So, a year. I feel a little off and my head is feeling heavy but no dizziness or non-functioning. Yay! I'll likely take one pill tomorrow and then try to skip 2 more days. I need to make up a schedule cause I don't want to re-fill my pills but I only have less than 10 left, maybe.

 

Here's a rough list of our schedule for this week. Obviously, I'll have more daily chore type stuff to add in but this is stuff that likely won't change.

 

Monday:

-Emily swimming: 7-7:30

-Christmas decorations?

 

Tuesday:

 

Wednesday:

-Delaney swimming: 10:30-11

-Andrew volleyball: 6:30-10:30ish

-count sub money at the school 9-10

-figure out if I'm watching Braelyn

 

Thursday:

-go out for my birthday, I think

-Em soccer: 7:30-8:30

 

Friday:

-Delaney has school

-help out with subs at school 12:30-1:30

-Andrew volleyball: 6:30-10:30

 

Saturday:

-Em has birthday party 11:30-4

 

Sunday:

-church 11-1

 

 

Week to dos

-renew driver's licence

-renew health cards

-find midwife appt card

-rsvp about birthday party, get birthday gift

-pee in cup, drop off at lab

-find out if Andrea has care after this week (i'm hoping not.... but I hope that I can have other kids to watch)