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 Message 1 of 182 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameGrace·  (Original Message)Sent: 1/31/2005 6:25 PM
written on SGP, Sunday night, Jan 30th.... 
 
 
Hello everyone...... it's a quiet, relaxing day here in Texas...and also cloudy and drizzly.   Thought I'd play on the computer a bit... and then either take a nap, or we may go to a movie...?
 
Dottiemaye... I'm so sorry to hear you've been ill, and are still ill.   I've noticed you had not been posting and was wondering what was up.   I was  about ready to email you and send out a search party!   LOL.... yes.. you have seen me through so many "re-arrangements" over the years haven't you... or rather... then never Finished attempt to finish my office!... for what, over 2 years now!   But by golly,  I think she's got it!!....  This is going to be the year to get a FINISHED  office...lol.   I really really like this room this way and feel very excited about it.   I never felt 'happy' about the room in the past years attempts... maybe that's why I couldn't get myself to actually finish it!   Please get well soon... you are so missed on here!  And about the Bingo,  Hey...THIS 'sister' ain't won that game yet either... so I'm definitely not a threat to anyone....lol. 
 
Does anyone on here ever do the Mardi Gras thing... or did you do it in your younger days?    I'm just curious.  What are your opinions about it?
 
Hubby told me about some of the things he saw last night... and it made me feel sick to my stomach at how raunchy and immoral people are getting... well,  actually,  they've always really been that way...  I just didn't know about it.    I grew up in a very 'small world'.... detached from the things that go on "out there".  
 
I really just felt very sad.... and couldn't help but think how sad and disappointed God is in the behavior of many humans on this earth..... including myself and my own careless choices.   The fact that He hasn't wiped us completely off the face of the earth and trashed us is to me probably the greatest miracle of all time.... the human race is oftimes pretty darn disgusting.  
 
What do you think of beads being sold/worn with penis's and vaginas on them?   Makes me want to puke!   One woman has a 'crazy' type straw for her drink... that had a penis as part of it.   And all the fondling women allowed to be done to them... just for some cheap beads!   It just makes me so mad to see the lack of self-value, and lack of self-respect and lack of self-worth these women portray out there to sell themselves so cheaply and willingly.  As a female,  I feel shame and disgust at those girls and women for doing the things they do out there.  
 
Ok.. enough venting.  I don't particulary like that my husband worked it either...after hearing the details he shared.   It was a private party... so I didn't think the breast thing would be an issue.... but it wasn't just the people down on the street doing it!   And women of all ages were doing it!... young, and old.  Now why on earth should men have or show any respect for women when they so willingly act tramps in public????... and dress like one too, even when it's not Mardi Gras.... from what I've seen in the malls the last few months.   Oh yeah... I said I was through venting... 
 
CCC.....  about your situation.....  all I have to say is it sounds like you are being dictated to, and told what to do...???... Excuse me?.... It's what you and your husband are willing and able to do..... after you are politely and repectfully ASKED.... 'could you?',  or  'would you be interested in, or able to....'.   
 
They don't get to decide everything they want.. and then 'tell' people what thay 'have' to do to provide it.   Even if it's a first wedding it's not done like that!  We spent $3500 on my daughter's wedding.   Which is now going to be ended.   No way I'd fork over that kind of money again for a second wedding.   I agree with the others... there is no "obligation" here...  it's a matter of what you freely want to do.   
 
You said this is a "small" wedding???... small in my dictionary is the one we had for my daughter.. and about 50 guests... and a tent just for the ceremony only... not for everyone to sit under all the time, which was $400 with chairs if I remember correctly.  Wanting a big $1000 tent... is in my opinion... that you asked for...too extravagant for a small wedding.   They don't need it.  If they want it.. they can pay for it.  Is she dreaming of having what was done in the movie "Father of the Bride"...??...lol.  Things can easily get out of hand... it's ok to say NO and to use your own power and control and dictate what will and will not come out of your pocketbooks. 
 
And I'd not be in too big a hurry to do anything about that house situation either.... till you at least see if the marriage is going to last for a little while.   I mean... the other wedding just took place only 5 years ago... and now another one....???   In this day and age... they aren't really making that much money.   I know... because my husband is just now getting to the 40,000 range.. and we live paycheck to paycheck!   There is no money for medical or auto repairs without him working extra security jobs.  Gas and groceries keep costing more each month... no, they are not making that much money.   And if he's making less than her....if she gets pregnant again, or has to quit working for some other reason .....will he be able to afford all the bills on his salary alone?   The situation just does not sound very stable to me.   She has the security of her own home right now... and she's fixing to lose it.   If they get divorced what will she be left with?  Who will get the house...?   If she does, will she be able to afford the payments?
 
Well goodness......  lot of venting going on up there... and there's not even a full moon for me to blame it on.   Left over emotions from hearing the things about the Mardi Gras while at lunch earlier.... hope I didn't offend anyone.
 
Hope the rest of the day goes better!   Byeee....  Grace


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 Message 168 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 4/17/2008 1:45 AM
From: junebug Sent: 4/16/2008 6:01 PM
I seem to have been reborn to the role of caregiver/taker....I thought I did this already......when s it my time////I need to make that new life for me.....

Reply
 Message 169 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 4/19/2008 4:36 AM

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

 

urrrrggggg

I wake up every morning and sometimes I just can't believe the shit that I have going on.  Yes I know here I go again same o...same o...but OH MY FREAKING GOD!  Who are these people in my life and what the hell???? I mean who do they think they are??? Why do they feel the world owes them so much???? Why is it always such a pitty party???? I just don't understand...I don't think I will ever understand.  How is it the thirty-something adults....ADULTS act like such immature children??? Didn't we all graduate from High School a long time ago????  At least I thought we did.  There are these people that are so self absorbed in their own selfish misery that they will stop at nothing to bring everything and everyone down with them.  They suck the life out of you.  They are this black cloud of misery and bitterness.  Why why why why do they waste their life...their chance to have a happy fullfilling life by spending time thinking of ways to hurt/get back at the people around them...no matter who it is....their kids....ex-spouses....i mean it's so insane to me. 

I have started a whole new beginning with myself this year.  I'm working on fitness and my health.  I am going to try new things....experience life....I'm 29 and have so much living to do.  I guess I'm at a point in life where I see and understand that its just too damn short to waste my time with people that arn't worth it.  Why be miserable????  Do I want to die tomorrow and had lived my last days on earth as this miserable, bitter, sad person??? NOPE!  I hope that someday this person will just freaking get over it.  Allow the kids to be happy.  Allow them to choose for themselves who they like or don't like.  Allow their ex to be apart of his kids life as much as possible no matter what the stupid ass papers say. Allow children to say hello to their step mother in public without the fear of getting in trouble.  Allow the bitterness and anger to go...to leave and be gone so that we all can start to MAYBE have some sort of normal existance with one another and maybe just maybe allow the kids to not be put in the middle.  In a perfect world adults work together to provide for the kids...teach them how to respect one another and others...teach them not to be hateful...that its not ok to hate and name call and belittle other human beings. Isn't it our responsibility to raise these kids as mature, responsible, caring, giving, kind human beings????  We are what they learn from!  Why teach them hate and anger????  Arn't we suppose to protect them from that?  I don't know I guess I'm just frustrated and I'm tired of living with all this hatred and bitterness and misery in my life and I'm ready for a new fresh start.  I'm ready for happiness, adventure, love and family. 

 

Have a Great Day Everyone!


Reply
 Message 170 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 4/19/2008 9:36 PM

Friday, April 18, 2008

 

Life is what we make it
Current mood: happy

Life.  We live it one breath at a time.   One day at a time.   Some days we breeze through happily... other days, we wish we could skip altogether.  However, it's the work of getting through the hard and difficult days that in the end makes the other days all the more sweeter.   The victory of getting through the days we would have preferred to skip... makes them valued treasures to remember.

Something I've learned through the struggles is that possession of our life is a choice.  We either live it.  Or we don't.   We can take control of the day we are given and make the most of what we have been given that day.  Or we can let someone else take control of our day and dictate everything we feel and think and let them decide for us what kind of day we will or won't have according to their moods, needs or desires.   I've done the latter.  It sucks.  And, letting someone else control our day, our life, our mood, and ultimately our soul and mind.... is the equivalent of them sucking  your life out of you.   At that point... they are living your life.  Not you.

I don't live that way anymore.   I own me.  I own my life.  I own my mind.   I live my life now.   And for the first time....I really know the joy of being able to say my life will be what I make it.  Because I am finally free of all the controls and limits dictated and set by other people.   I am free to live my life by my choices.  By my soul's desires.  

No one should be deciding your life... but you.  You cannot live your life... if someone else possesses it by possessing you. 

Freedom and self-power are so exhilarating. 

Your life, if you are in control of yourself,  is yours to make of it what you want.   And when you are in full possession of your own life... the possibilities are unlimited, and they are all reachable.  

So enjoy every breath of your life.   It's a wonderful gift.  And, if you don't think it is.... then fix it, change it.. and make it to be so.   It is within your power to do that for yourself.   If you don't think so... then someone else is controlling and limiting you.   Stop letting them do that.  Stop letting someone else run and live your life.   It's yours.  Own it.  Live it.   And make of it whatever you want.   It's your choice.   Your breath.  Your day. 


Reply
 Message 171 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 4/23/2008 5:27 PM

Your Letter to Congress

Robin, thanks for taking action on behalf of WikiCongress. Your emails are on the way to Capitol Hill.

An individual copy of your letter will be sent to each official:

April 21, 2008

Dear Sen. John Cornyn (R TX),
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R TX),
Rep. Ron Paul (R TX-14),

I know this letter is not going to do any good, but here it is anyway. I want to know why OUR representatives are sitting on their collective butts doing nothing while the oil companies are robbing us blind! I am tired of hearing how they are barely making ends meet while making billions of dollars in profits every quarter! How much do you people think the average American can stand? Higher taxes, higher ga s and fuel. it is crazy! Of course you had your little dog and pony show a few weeks ago when you had the oil companies in Washington anwering questions on the gas prices, but that is as far as it went. I don't expect anything from you, we haven't received anything yet. I don't care what party you are, your job is to protect and serve the American people. Why don't you try something different and do that for a change, not your party! Thanks for listening anyway, although it won't make any difference.

Sincerely,

Robin Carlton
1314 W Broad
Freeport, TX 77541


Reply
 Message 172 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 7/5/2008 3:26 AM
... oh my goodness Pilgrim...  what made you think you had
to do that???   I'm so sorry you deleted your posts. 
I really don't or at least didn't think this group is that kind of
"legalistic" place....and  if it is I'd be very disappointed.
 
This is to me a health improvement thread... and that covers all
aspects of our health.. .mental and emotional.
 
If people are going to start deleting posts, then I'm going to
start saving all of them...
 
yes,... some groups out there are so very "particular" about
things like that....  and possessive and overly controlling
in my opinion...and I think it's more to do with those that
are striving to win awards etc.. which I have never approved
of or gone for.  
 
In my opinion.. if people in life can't just carry on friendly
conversations without worrying about making some silly
and needless discussion 'mistake'... then we're all in pretty
bad shape in my opinion.
 
this post isn't about exercising... if it's wrong to put this here
then we'll  know by Sandy deleting it, cause I'm not.  And
I'm saving it for my records just in case she does.
 
Yoohooo Sandy.... do you care what we talk about on
this thread???
 
back to work now....  home on a quick break.

Reply
 Message 173 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 7/5/2008 5:54 AM
 
  Oh my gosh Pilgrim!.....
 
That's ME!!!!!!!!  ...seriously!
  • takes charge
  • gets things done
  • is organized
  • plans things out
  • accepts responsibility
  • is good delegating authority
  • can handle pressure
  • can bounce back from difficulties
  • others look up to
  • works long hours
No wonder I couldn't be married to one...lol. 
 
(and no wonder my poor husband and I couldn't be
happy together.  He tried to be the coach-like, heck,
in his narcissistic head believed himself to be one,
bless his heart, and he wasn't one ... at all.   I was.  
And he also tried to make me take the role of the lesser
person, and it just wasn't in me.   I am realising more
and more that it was my not being my real, complete and
true self that almost killed me.
 
And... another 'oh my gosh'.... 
 
I didn't know you were a coach!......gosh I'm
embarrased.   It's just the loud voice, barking
orders that I couldn't handle....  otherwise, yes,
all great qualities....  and not just because I have
them too......lol.   I so hope I didn't offend you.
I know coaches and drill sargeants have to do what
they do to get the job done.
 
Now then coach.... please do rest this weekend.
And I'm so glad you did not end up in the hospital!
And I look forward to hearing your exercise reports.
 
Off to work soon.  

Reply
 Message 174 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 7/6/2008 7:42 PM
50   <NOBR>MSN Nicknamegranny08x</NOBR>  7/6/2008 11:23 AM
 weekdays 2596 2 <NOBR>MSN Nicknamegranny08x</NOBR>  7/6/2008 12:23 AM

Reply
 Message 175 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 7/7/2008 1:17 AM
Hi Notsofoolishnow...
 
Your comments about "mirroring" have been with me a lot since I read
them...
 
As I become more "me".... I sometimes wonder how not to fall into the trap of
being "played" again... sucked into something by someone wonderfully meeting
my needs.   (and I wonder, what are my needs???).
 
And the mirroring aspect gave me some clues of what a n does to us.
I'm sure it's probably been written about on here elsewhere.. but, I'm just
now "getting it" on this thread with everyones combined input.
 
Could this be how it goes down with them....
 
We have the unmet need... and they somehow find it, and zero in on
it.   We don't even see it in ourselves... but, they mirror it back to us.
Then, we "feel" the need being met.... and we fall in love with that
aspect of the n.... who "seems" to be meeting our needs, but in reality,
is just creating a false mirage... reflecting back to us a part of ourselves
we don't even know exists... we just see it 'in them'....  and then they
take it away.... and in the process we are really losing part of our 'self',
because our 'self' is who they were mirroring.
 
Then, to make it the absolute worst.... we find out about narcissism,
and not only does the discovery of 'what' we've been with cause us to
 find out about those needy parts of our own self in a most painful
way... we also find out that what we thought was real... the n... is in
fact a hollow, empty, false,  nothing.  
 
We lose twice, we lose them, and we lose that
part of ourself that was being fed through them.
 
If I ever should date again.... (and I want to, I just don't think the
prospect of it is likely at my age).... I have decided I will be on
high alert for "mirroring".....  
 
I want to be the one to first know my own needs.   I don't want them to be
'mysteriously' found and met by someone else, thereby making
him out to be a wonderful Knight on a White Horse... rescueing me,
again.    
 
I want to really, really know myself... as completely as is humanly
possible.  
 
I've been discovering my strengths pretty fast in the last few months.
 
My xnh husband "thought" I was a needy, weak single mom back in 1975.
 
I was, to a degree.   The thing is... I was that way only because I had not
yet had a chance to fully bloom and allow my true strengths to come out
and be known and used.    I'm finding out more and more that I really  am
a very very strong person.   For real... not just in my head, not just as a
dream of "I'd like to be".   I am. 
 
I didn't know who I really was back then.   That's why I was so willing
to believe what he mirrored back to me.... my 'neediness'... my need for
him.   And my true inner strength that was there all  along, is why I was
so confused for most of our marriage.   I didn't know what was real and
what was false.  Was my weakness real?  Or was the strengths that kept
trying to come out my real self?   The strengths he tried over and over to
shut down and destroy... and make me feel bad about.
 
The reality of my true strengths came to me full force just recently.
 
Someone on another group discussion about a sport coach as a possible
husband, desribed them this way..  that some women like a husband who ....
 
  • takes charge
  • gets things done
  • is organized
  • plans things out
  • accepts responsibility
  • is good delegating authority
  • can handle pressure
  • can bounce back from difficulties
  • others look up to
  • works long hours
 
I looked at his list.. and sat in shock as I saw my SELF....
and thought to myself... omgosh... that's me, I'm all those things...
 
( which I've been able to see now, after working for the last
year, and now that I'm not sick with menapausal and n- induced depression)
 
And I also suddenly realised why my xnh husband grew less and less
capable of being with me as my strengths had started to come to the
surface the last 3 to 4 years of our marriage. 
 
He didn't see the real me in the beginning of our relationship... so he
didn't really mirror the true me...  which had not come into existence
yet at that point in my life...and after all those years of battles of will,
when the real me didn't fall in line with  his mirroring attempts,
the mirror shattered into a million little pieces.  
 
And the spell was broken.  
 
I just then had to separate the broken pieces...the lies, from the
truth... and focus on only putting back together what was true,
about me.
 
We all have needs.   And some needs are truly best met by
someone elses love and care,.. and by having strengths to share
between the two people.  
 
I don't want any false mirrors creating false images for me to
be taken in by.   And my strengths will always ALSO be a part of
the whole picture being created. 
 
Thanks NSFN for giving me so much to think about, and some more truths
to get figured out...  Hugs, GS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Reply
 Message 176 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 7/7/2008 4:37 PM
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameHeidemarie10</NOBR> Sent: 7/6/2008 6:12 PM
This is a duhh Nolan story. My granddaughter came back early from their vacation. We sat around the garden in the sun. Enjoying it. Suddenly, a burst of water drenched me again and again. Nolan had gotten ahold of the water hose and used it on us. Everybody jumped up, just i sat ther like a dummy and got wet. Somebody got the hose away from him. It was nice and sunny, so i dried fast. But that water was cold.

Reply
 Message 177 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 10/11/2008 4:51 AM
From: junebug Sent: 10/10/2008 6:57 PM
beautiful Jeni...
 
Good night to all who give me hope
 
I am not feeling very well right now
My son is being a dope
My husband is as good as he can be
I am just feeling sick and really out of touch
I feel very much like I am living the length but not the width of my life
It is fall, that could be the entire explanation....
no worry, dont respond.....I just had to write it so it could be out there....
 
Good for you Grace about your son coming....

Reply
 Message 178 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 10/24/2008 4:09 AM
Hello All.....  and Hi Dottiemaye!
 
Wow... what timing.   I was just telling my group about Yuku too.... I'll be checking into it.   This is all so sad and difficult...
 
I just got through signing up with Multiply just to get a look at it, and it's quite different.   Don't think we will be going there...??...
 
For now:   Just wanted to make a quick "hello" post here to keep active here at CRI.
 
I'm trying my darndest .....   I find it hard to find energy to
talk much in groups.... it was so much easier when I was a
stay at home wife and did not have to stand on my feet for
8  hours a day working !   Amazing the difference in the
energy level between staying at home, and working all day...lol.
 
Finances are so low... the truth is I just don't have much of
anything to talk about!...work is all I do, and the only place
I go...  now that is pretty sad.   
 
Hope it all changes for the better soon.   My son is now living
with me,.. and if he gets the job he is waiting/hoping to get,
I will again have more breathing room financially... and
will be able to actually "enjoy" life... instead of just try to
survive. 
 
Weather has been really nice here in Texas... love the
lower temps... and also the lower gas prices  !!...
 
It's 10 pm Thursday here... need to get off this machine
and get to bed. 
 
Just wanted to let CRI know I've been coming by to read,
and I am still here!.... 
 
Hugs to all,  Grace
 
 
 

Reply
 Message 179 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 1/28/2009 12:40 PM
From: <NOBR>MSN Nicknamegranny08x</NOBR> Sent: 1/15/2009 3:16 AM
too bad we let the ghost drive us out, so he now walks the streets of tranquility harbor,laughing and gloating, cause he scared us away, poor man how bitter,sad and lonesome he must be. what a horrid life he must have had, but we will never know his story now.
 
 

Reply
Recommend Delete    Message 3 of 7 in Discussion 
From: Grace* Sent: 1/15/2009 1:10 PM
Oh yes he will!.....
 
Because he is our own personal beloved Ghost... and he will
go with us where ever we end up living!....lol.
 
Our town will still exist...!!....
 
Just not at Groupbox!...
 
HANG IN THERE LADIES....
 
Groupbox didn't work... but Our Town will be resurrected
somewhere else in time.

Reply
The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 180 of 182 in Discussion 
Sent: 2/16/2009 3:24 AM
This message has been deleted by the manager or assistant manager.

Reply
 Message 181 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 2/16/2009 3:37 AM

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:


You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!




So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:



Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.



She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:



Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids..



'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'



So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:



Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.



'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.



She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:



Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'


Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:



Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.



She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:



Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.



PLEASE NOTE:


To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street..



The first floor has wives that love sex.



The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.



The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited


Reply
 Message 182 of 182 in Discussion 
From: GraceSent: 2/16/2009 3:39 AM

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids..

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.



PLEASE NOTE:


To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street..


The first floor has wives that love sex.


The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.


The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited


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