..."immediacy of a moment" ... one isolated moment's emotion or view.. just that one second in time. The one that sticks with me is one I read 2 or 3 years ago. I don't even have it memorized... it was about seeing newly burned house remains... trampled grass, crumpled & soggy little rag doll... I could see and smell that viewer's moment 100%... great haiku.
OK... say I look left... to see...
Side's eyes upon page
arm lifts bottle
sunlight in hairs
... what I saw in that one isolated instant. It can be upended... like...
sunlight in hairs
arm lifts bottle
eyes upon page
...and sometimes that improves them. Or shortening them... I think this could do without the eyes on page part, maybe...
arm lifts bottle
sunlight in hairs
arm
raises bottle
in hairs
sunlight
***
arm raised
in the hairs
sunlight
See? Just grab a moment from thin air, then toy with it, refine it... 
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i see how your mind works here on this page star...its kool..........how it evolves....
..Immediate is right know ain't it??
... actually I'm a rhymster, as opposed to a poet... not a good poet at all.... but rhymes follow me around like puppy dogs..
..I got's ya!! 
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