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I take it from some of the answers on the risque born that at least one of our members has an open marriage. I think its fine if you can make it work but I dont think I could ever go there. It seems to not be a marriage at all to me . |
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I know I can't go there...I don't share sex partners. If I was married and wanted at taste of what was outside my marriage I would get divorced. I know, time consuming and expensive but worth it to me. |
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Marriage is a WORD...what you feel for your Partner is Words from the Heart..Feelings from within...if they are true Feelings...you would not WANT to be with another, in my opinion... |
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Ah, but you also have to consider the kind of giving, unselfishness a person must have to make a relationship like this work. There can't be jealousy, because there is security in knowing that you are confident in your own love for each other. What is so wrong with being happy (when both agree) with your mate receiving pleasure from another? It does take a special kind of bond for this to work. I do understand! For me, I'm happy and content with my one man. I've known many over the years (remember I was single for EVER it seemed) and I don't think there is any grass greener than what I have right now. To look into his eyes, and see total love for me. To know that he doesn't desire another woman (in actuality), to know that being with me satisfies him, well, that says a lot. I don't want another, I don't want to be with another. Neither does he. To me, that's special. And I'm not even married! But I wouldn't trade our "knowing" each other intimately, as we do, his smell, his touch, his adoration, for some attention from another for mere sexual pleasure. I say, each to his own. If it is the lifestyle that you both agree upon, are comfortable with, and makes you happy, why not? Just not for me. Not even in my wild years, was I comfortable with it...(and yes, I've been there, too!) |
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I read somewhere recently that Amlia Earhardt and her husband wrote into their marriage agreement that neither was expected to be sexually faithful to the other. She really didn't fit the model of traditional woman, did she? |
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| | | From: peejay | Sent: 4/23/2008 3:01 PM |
I've never heard that before John. No, Amelia was not a traditional woman (or person) |
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Open Marriages..... well we have been open with ours for maybe five years now. It has worked out wonderfully. We had been married for 12 or 13 years before we discussed it. We wouldnt have been ready for it any sooner than that either. We do have limits to it and that I could discuss if anyone was interested in hearing it. Im not posting this to be judged. I have always been open about it here and will contenue if being asked out of curiosity. |
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I'm curious Longbow. What limits do you place? How is it working for you? I've never known anyone who practised open marriage but I've wondered how feasible it is to keep jealousy out of it. |
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i know one family that has a open marrage. only thing is. the wife gets to choose her husband partner. but he not allowed to choose hers.  |
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LB, I''m really interested by this. Please do tell us how this works out. I mean wow, as a man you'd normally think that men would crazy jealous of his wife being w/other men/women. You and her have got to have one tight and dynamite relationship. I'll be waiting for details and by the way, I'll make sure no one disses you for YOUR own practice of life! *wink* |
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Thank you Loveli and Robin for not downing us because of our openess and yes I would be glad to share with you. First of all we have now been married for 17 years and all 17 have been wonderful. We have only been "open" for the past five years or so. I guess it all started with little fantasy shareing during our own play time. We would discuss her interest in experianceing another lady and such. We finally decided to try playing with another couple but no intercourse, just touching and oral etc. We met a couple and had a few experiances with them and they were all pretty good. Especially between T and I and the female half of the other couple. However the guy had began to get jelous and finally put an end to our play time. Yes it always seems to be the male that gets jelous which we have ran into more than once. We contenued and had some wonderful FFM experiances..one really incredible. We finally venterued into a full swap experiance (intercourse) with another couple. There was an attraction all the way around and it went wonderfully. But being married and with two children its hard to get out as a couple very often so we decide to try playing seprately. That has worked well also and we still do get together with the couple together from time to time. As far as limits. We have an agreement that the one has to agree with the other on the person or couple we are going to see. Most of the time we will meet the other couple as a couple to make sure that we both aprove of them before any type play. We prefer that the other person is married or is a couple together. If they are married their spouse has to aagree to it also. It is very rare that a single would be involved. But there have been a couple of them that have been trusted enough. I wouldnt ever suggest this for anyone who hasnt been married for atleast 10 years and are truely in love. There comes a time that you do realize that there are things that you are interested in sexually that your spouse might not be interested in. If you love and are close enough you would want that other person to have the opertunity to experiance those things. Honesty is the most important part of it. If I want to see somone and she says she dont think it would be a good idea I take it as just that and I dont see them and vise versa. If you dont have that type of honesty in your relationship before hand you wouldnt ever be able to have it in this type of relationship. If that honesty is broken then it could be disastrous as we have seen in other couples that are open in their marriage. |
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longbow u are/were living what me and my guy want i have this delicious idea of watching him with another lady its a fantasy of mine i'm not the jealous type, once i feel secure in our relationship, anything goes but...........my ex hub, no way he was such the typical guy i think restricting those that are of open mindedness to one partner is a shame and the other partner should appreciate the opennness of the other you know? |
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i tried doing a three some a few weeks ago with a guy and gal, and i couldn't go threw with it. i didn't even get undressed. unknown to me, those two had been involved in the past. but they pretend it was the first time getting together. and i found out they pretended because he wanted to get close and she, loving him as she does. (which was one sided) agree for him hoping. after he got close to me, he would go back to her. i guess the joke was on me. they both asked me a few more times, if i want to try again. and i said no.
dam i felt like a fool when i found out. since i now know she calls me all the time letting me know how heart broken she is because that guy still wants me instead of her. iiiiieeee i dont' want either!!!! |
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See Chops, that is one thing that could be a problem. Some people say they want to try a threesome or some other adventure and then get their feeling hurt if their partner enjoys themselves too much. Gotta be a secure person to be in a situation like that. |
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A threesome should be experianced with two folkes that are familar with one another..they Will make the third person comfortable IF they know what to do...if not...then it's just another cluster fuck... |
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Long, seems like you got it all together and this probably will get tiring to the both of you one day and it'll be back to one-on-one sex, but you'll have so much to talk and reminensce about while having sex that your sex life will be ohh so intense. Yeah you 2 got it really good. |
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