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| | (Original Message) | Sent: 1/20/2009 7:10 AM |
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"The Seifer Effect is almost as influential, inspirational, awe inspiring, and motivational as 'The Colbert Bump'! I give Seifer three thumbs up; why three? Because I have a third thumb! I'm Stephen Colbert and if I didn't approve this message, then the world has just ended."
Ever heard of "The Seifer Effect"? Sure you have, you've just never heard it called by that name.
"The Seifer Effect" effectively epitomizes one of Seifer's most popular nicknames in "The Transcendent" - the one wrestler who transcends everything in this sport from his matches to his opponents to the business and even, to himself, which enables him to keep getting better.
You want some proof? Seifer's about to give you a dose of "The Seifer Effect" that'll make Seifmadness followers universe wide realize that just because he is no longer the PWT Champion, doesn't mean the road is now dim. On the contrary, the road has now been opened wide from one lane to three lanes and it's time to throw it in six, put the pedal to the metal and pave the way for another huge history making moment.
Enjoy.
The cameras open up on the upper body of Seifer who's wearing a simple black tee with the words '305 Era' tattered on in teal on it as he has his head down and appears to be working on something with his hands. He's moving something around and every now and then reaches over and picks up a championship that we see only for a brief millisecond before he sets it down and moves it. Finally, he looks up, the cameras still have yet to show us what he's doing.
"Greetings nation! You know, I think I ought to write a book called 'The Seifer Effect' because after reading Mr. Colbert's endorsement, well, it just felt like it should have been on a book cover. After all, it's a great way to try and live your life, no matter what happens, you keep bouncing back and getting better. Granted the majority can't do it like Seif can, at least you've got a role model to look up to and model yourself after! There's a reason why I coined myself "The Machina" and like a saiyan, I get stronger with my defeats.
"Last week on Shockwave the world saw Drew Stevenson finally becoming the PWT Champion for the first time. I guess fourth times a charm, huh Drew? Congrats though, you went through hell all month to get that title and you deserve your props. However, via 'The Seifer Effect' you all are going to see just why I'm coming out on top and even stronger."
He holds up a finger.
"I'll get to that in just a moment. First I'll answer the questions burning in your minds, what was on that piece of paper I signed at the end of the show? That was my rematch clause to the Heavyweight championship... and yes, I signed it away. I handed it to Jacob Mitchell as was originally part of our plan since DAY ONE that PWT re-opened its doors for the first time. You know, he took his dive in the first round of the tourney as we fooled everyone into thinking we were at odds, and in turn he gets his well deserved throughout the years title shot."
Seifer laughs.
"We do what we want, when we want, how we want. Don't like it? Anyone is more than welcome to step up to the plate and try and do something about it. Till you do, shut up and listen up, ya might learn something!"
Seifer can't help but smile at the partial take on "The Brain's" famous quote.
"Let me take you back to December when the first time the signing away of a rematch clause idea was used. That was when I gave Stevenson an offer he couldn't refuse. Sign over his People's title rematch to me in turn for a chance at the Heavyweight championship. He didn't hesitate to do so, and that my friends, is where my end game has been since the day PWT re-opened. That's right, as you know I've had my eyes on the People's Championship for about a year now but something always comes up, something always happens, someone always gets their panties in a bunch to try and keep me from MY destiny."
Seifer scoffs at the nerve of pencil pushers.
"Well no longer because right now I'm officially challenging Brandon Marks for the People's Championship. Not that I need to since I am the #1 contender but out of respect for someone who fought hard to earn that title, I'm doing so. Congrats on your win Brandon, you and Jessica put on one hell of a match. Our next one I'm sure will be another great battle as well. That is, unless Jessica changes her mind and decides to go after you instead. Which, whatever the case is, it's all fine by me. I can see that flare in her eyes and tell that she'd enjoy me winning almost as much as she'd enjoy herself winning it from you. Then again maybe JJ's just waiting till I do so to cash in and challenge me, would surprise me, but it may not please you know who."
He winks and takes takes a piece of paper and writes something on it, he holds it up to the camera. 'The People's Championship (3 shows away).' He sets it down and turns away as the cameras follow him to where he takes a seat on the couch. We can see the table he was placing the titles and such on, but can't make out anything that is on it, good camera angles.
"So by now you're probably wondering why 3 shows, why I don't want to do it now. Well for one, Brandon deserves to have some time with the title after he earned it and not have to defend it right away. For two, I've got other business. This coming week we're going to see Cross, Jacob and myself going up against the boys of The Elite Republic in what'll no doubt be one hell of a match for all to behold! The top two groups going at it to see who's really running the show!"
Seifer laughs, he can't help it!
"See, I can hype too, even if it's hard to keep a straight face! Although on a positive note rumor is going around that Banch is trying to motivate his crew to step up and be heard, to do something. If that's true, that's what I like to hear. Cause when it's go time you won't see us holding back, we'll flat out say what needs to be said and what you do is on you."
Now Seifer holds a second finger.
"I'll have more on that later as that's just this one show. So what is in store for the following Shockwave? Well, I've been contacted by someone who wants to come into PWT to have a match with me... someone who's a pretty big star in this business."
Seifer grins.
"Naturally, I said yes, because come on, the only thing I love more than putting on HUGE matches is winning championships so you know I'd say yes for the chance to give MSN a proper send off. Call it 'MSN's Last Great Dream Match', if you will. Yeah, I like that, call it that. Let the hype begin and get excited about it, cause it'll be off the hook, I tell you what."
Looking over at the table now, so does the camera but Seifer shakes his head and motions it on him once more.
"As far as what's over on the table? It's a sort of chart... but you won't be seeing it until I deem it's time. Sorry suckaz, but you're just going to have to wait. Until then, let the Seifmadness keep coursing through your veins and you too can feel "The Seifer Effect"!"
Pause, sigh.
"Okay, I can't do that to you, I lied. "The Seifer Effect" only works if your name is Seifer. SORRY!"
DUN DUN DUNN DUN DUN DUNN DUN! "LET'S GO GIRLS!"
The opening beats of Shania Twain's "Man! I feel like a Woman" begins to play on the coffee table in front of Seifer. He of course rolls his eyes, picks up his cell phone and shows it to the camera.
"Call From: JESUS SH CHRIST"
"Sean Hunter for those who are slow."
"You've got thirty seconds to state your business before I send an EMP through the phone and erupt your ear drum."
Ahh, the classic Seifer way of answering.
"STFU! I just wanted to say that you just made everyone in Mexico extremely excited. OH AND SEIFER SAYS HOLA!"
[mad]
"FUCK THAT SEIFER RODRIGUEZ GHEYGOT! SOMEONE DIDN'T READ THE FINE PRINT OF LIFE THAT SAID, MESSICANS DON'T EVEN COUNT!"
"Haha, he's crying!"
"I win."
Click. Seifer clears his throat.
"Now that all that's out of the way, let's focus on the times at hand. On Shockwave you've got The Elite Republic going up against The Millennium Four Horsemen, the Kings of MSN, the whatever you wanna call us. In fact, I'll combine those two and flat out call us the Millennium Kings because let's face it, the three of us have been the most dominating and driving force throughout much of this new millennium. Why am I talking about a stable name? Because I want to drive it home to The ER guys that we're far more creative then just using a known stable name for our own. See it was a few years ago over in BUD did a former partner in crime of mine, Dante, and I talk to Ric Flair himself and received the blessings to bring back the Four Horsemen. So we did and it became widely successful. Well I figured why not do so again in PWT's new era, bring about another era of Horsemen supremacy, seeing as how Flair said "once a Horsemen, always a Horsemen". And who better than Cross, a man who ran with Dante for a long time, Jacob Mitchell, the damn Godson of Ric Flair and Rebecca Rancid, one of the best female wrestlers of all time. So it happened and the rest is history. Now you know, now you know.
"Then again sometimes I question if it even matters, if I just wasted my breath. Seriously, I look at the lineup and it's a bit disappointing. I thought The Elite Republic was saturated with talent! It's going to be 3 on 3? I see Mikah is wrestling and Chasity is just a manager but how about Reagan? I'm telling you, bring your WHOLE crew because you're certainly going to need them. Then again maybe Reagan has seen the light and doesn't want to be apart of this battle you ignorantly got yourselves involved in. Well if that's the case then Reagan baby, I think I've got a spot for you on my side if you want to see what it's like to be with a real winner and champion."
Seifer can't help but throw a wink her way.
"That's not to say you can fight with us cause we represent a true team, but you can join me ringside and watch how we get business taken care of.. beyond that? Who knows, I've got the world baby so anything's possible! Unless of course you enjoy living a life of mediocrity, choice is yours, at the end of the day, I'm still gonna be Seifer."
Cue a shoulder brush. He nods his head.
"If hitting on his girl or ex girl or whatever their relationship status is doesn't motivate Marcus Payton into stepping up to the plate and doing something, I don't know what will. Maybe I need to tell him I'm serious about my offer? Maybe it'll take Reagan to show up at my side in a promo to get him to come at us with the fire that you know he wants to prove he has against the talent of PWT? Whatever the case is, if he wants to step out of being just a puppet for Banch, then now is his chance. Banch has done all the work where as all he does is bicker and go with the flow. You want to get somewhere you've got to do more than just go with the flow. Then again, you ain't the only one."
Seifer shakes his head.
"What about this Lionheart character, huh? Lionheart, are... you... serious?"
Seifer gives a 'PFFT' looking face.
"Sorry Adrian but I think I'll call you Legionnaire. 'Cause Van Damme as Lionheart was solid, but when he was in Legionnaire you know what happened, right? He ended up in the desert on his knees and around him were men on horses prepared to capture him and inflict all sorts of insane torture techniques on his body and mind. It was the pleading eyes of a man that triggered his friend into firing the sniper shot that ended his life - so he wouldn't have to go through what his friend knew they would do to him. He killed his friend to save him."
A grin.
"Notice where I'm going with this? You're not the Lionheart, you're the Legionnaire. Banch is your friend and we're the men on the horses (Horsemen, get it?! hah) who are surrounding you, waiting to take you down and inflict an incredible amount of pain onto your soul. So tell me, are you going to fight back? Or is Banch going to have to pull the trigger and end you in order to save you?"
Seifer adjusts his position on the couch, getting more comfortable.
"Which brings me to the Backya... Amerikan Elite Republic Champion himself, Banch Morgan. First, how does it feel hearing someone else outside of your clan actually call you that champion? Feels good, doesn't it? Knowing that someone is willing to call you what you choose to rename the title. Wouldn't you like for everyone to call you that? Well then why don't you make your voice be heard Banch? Instead of walking into a battle with guys who I don't think will back you up very much, why not be your own man and make your own battles, declare your own spot in this business and back it up? Cause looking at the way I just went at your friends, it seems they've got some talent, but are too lazy to put any of it to good use. So what's going to happen is they're going to be the weak links in this little fight we got going on and you know what the say, "You're only as strong as the weakest link. When the weak one fuck up, you fuck up." You look at Jake, Cross, and myself and you can't honestly say who is the weakest or even strongest link... because we're pretty much equal in that regards. So if we're equal we're moving at a quick pace and all in unison which means to beat us, you've got to do more than relying on hopefully motivating words to get your troops fired up. You've got to hope and pray that they're ready to bust out their big guns and fire like they've never done before. You're up against the big times now Banch. Good news for you, and even your crew too, is that win or lose (lose), if you end up sticking around after you may begin to generate some respect. If not? Well then you'll have done what everyone kind of expects anyways and that's crumble when the real adversity comes rolling your way.
"So that's it from me Elite Republic, what you do now is up to you. Here's to hoping you're actually serious and come at us some before it's go time."
He pauses, only for a moment.
"Oh and Ree, you know!"
Another wink and the scene seizzes out on a laughing Seifer.
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