I'm back online!  Thank you so much for your support.  I never thought I would find myslef in this situation but such is life.  I am just not the type of person that can handle medication daily....I have to find a way to do this without Rx med....I have to at least because I feel like a prisoner with all of these meds.  I just am having trouble doing it on my own and go through periods of feeling weak minded but I know in the end...we all need a little help with some things in life and this is one for me.  I am going all natural methods and diets when all is said and done and I pray to GOD that works for me.  I am going to have to come to terms with my pain and realize that I just might be in pain and I have to find alternative ways to cope and I cannot expect to feel NO pain which is VERY DIFFICULT for me to accept and deal with.  Thank you again for your support in my decision to (1) stop taking Rx meds and (2) to enlist help for it.  ((hugs and thanks)))

 

dollface

On Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 1:36 PM, Smiling Fibros <[email protected]> wrote:

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From: dini747 Hi Jackie, Thanks for letting us know how Dollface is doing. I know she's going through a very difficult time right now. I know how frustrating it is without a computer, as well. I will continue to pray for Dollface that she is able to get the help she needs soon, and to keep the faith and realize that she DOES have it in her to change. I think the Serenity Prayer is a very powerful prayer that we all should keep in our daily lives when faced with difficult times. I know that no matter what addictions we face out there, it isn't easy to get help. I think our government needs to take it more seriously and create more rehabilitation centers. In the meantime, all people can do is take it one day at a time and find a support network that works. It takes alot of determination, guidance and support. I'm rootin' for you, Dollface! You CAN do it! Dini

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Thanks so much.  I appreciate all of the support....it helps me more than you could ever know.  Getting away from that quck fix when the pain is bad is extremely difficult but I have to learn a new way of life because I have 3 beautiful girls who need me around as long as possible and my odds of ending life sooner than I would hope are increased with all of these meds...the liver can only do so much you know...lol. 

 

Its so nice to be back online and connected because it gives me that inner strength that I am sometimes lacking and an outlet to let my emotions (good and bad...lol) out.  Thank you all so much for welcoming me to your family and for sticking by me.  I was worried about judgement and perhaps there is some out there but I am ok with that today.  The important thing right now is to get all of these poisons out of my system and build myself back up from there.  I have been having some success with Cymbalta as far as mobility so hopefully that will continue ... but who knows if all the other meds are creating this effect...lol.  At least I am no longer taking opiates.  I am working my way down.  After the meds are out of my system...aside from the quick fix pop a pill, I think the gluten free diet/all natural diet will be my biggest challenge.  I LOVE my carbs!!  I am almost back down to a healthy weight .... just a couple more pounds to go....even though I know losing weight is not the "cure"...lol...It will help me to keep more active which helps my mood and energy levels.  I just can't wait to get back to work and get back to my husband and join our family again. 

 

Sorry for the book!  I just can't say thanks enough.  Take care all.  Again, I will keep everyone posted as to when I am to leave and ask for your cont. prayers and thoughts . 

 

 

On Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 10:11 PM, jsr4711 <[email protected]> wrote:

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From: jsr4711 Glad you're back Dollface.  Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you go through the transition from rx to natural.  You CAN do this! Jacki

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Thank you for your support.  I truly appreciate it. 

 

LinLin: I just had my liver checked and its extremely healthy but my mother died at 38 from pills and other drugs and my family does not believe in medications unless necessary and they don't understand Fibromyalgia, the process of natural tolerance to meds, etc.  But they do know that I take more than prescribed and can't seem to control that so basically I'm afraid I'll overdose one day and of course we don't want that...lol.  When I was first diagnosed I was on percocet, then Fentnyl and eventually over 240 Oxy's per month and I always ran out within 3 weeks......that along with all the other meds they had me on....it was just too much for me.  I am surprised my liver was so healthy.  I'm just tired of keeping track of so many meds and am tired of being dependent on them.  I have to see if this natural method works just so I can prove to myself and my family that it either works or doesn't.  I want to go back to treatment because I can't detox from the meds at home in front of the kids...its gets bad and I need to be under medical supervision while detoxing and I am hoping that I gain some knowledge, stength and accountability to be able to hold my own medication and take it properly if the all natural doesn't work.  I have other issues I need to address that cause me to use more than prescribed so that sums up pretty much why I'm going.  I feel I have it in me to do it but of course that is me saying that right now on meds...haha...when I am in the middle of withdrawal....perhaps I will feel different....lol.....God help me....lol

On Sat, Nov 1, 2008 at 4:10 PM, Smiling Fibros <[email protected]> wrote:

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From: AlbanyLinLin5 Do you have problems with your liver?  Is that part of why you are going "au Natural"?   I will keep you in my thoughts.   LinLin

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They are checking my thyroid and a referring me to a gastroenterologist (probably didn't spell that right...lol) and checking some vitimin or mineral levels or something like that.  They are doing a whole battery of tests on me and checking EVERYTHING....lol.  I am going in on Monday to finish up the testing....one of them is a fasting test so I wasn't able to do it the same day.  I hate fasting...lol....I need my coffee in the morning....lol.  Thank you again for your support.  I think part of me is doing this to say "see....I tried it and it didn't work"...but I am trying not to think negative thoughts because I do believe that the mind has the power to heal and if I give up and give in....the Fibro and Endo will take over my body and I will be in horrendous pain.  I am terrified but I have to do it.  If in the end it doesn't work, I hope this treatment program will at at least help me to not take more than I am supposed to should I ever go back on pain meds.  I am also afraid of withdrawals and that is part of my motivation .....not ever having to experience withdrawals....but then again...when the pain gets bad...I wonder what everyone will say when I can't move or get out of bed.  Perhaps I can have my husband hold my medication if it comes down to that but I have to see if this will work....for him and the in-laws because they are so anti medications....even OTC meds...they don't take.  My husband had a mass removed from his arm and threw away 45 percocets and took nothing for it.  He will not take tylenol for a headache...he says drink water and put a towel on your head.  Medications are poison to them with the exceptions they choose to make like blood pressure, or heart meds or arthritis meds but nothing related to pain meds, pain blockers or anything that will cause withdrawals.  They just truly do no understand.  They don't but I am determined to give it an honest effort.  I am changing my diet to a gluten/wheat/dairy/soy/red meat diet, exercising regularly and get back down to my goal weight so that there is nothing that anyone can say "well you just need to try this".  I'm going to try Yoga, acupunture, pilates, warm water therapy and anything else I can think of and check off my list of "did you try this".  I pray to GOD that one of them works...that would be awesome but I am also prepared if they don't....but they are not.  I don't know...I know I have a problem with taking too much so I need to go to learn how to take them as prescribed and talk to my doctor before upping my dose on my own.  If I had done that in the first place, perhpas I wouldn't be going through my second rehab.  I guess I have no self control when I am in pain.  I am so torn.....I feel like such a failure and weak for not being able to push through the pain like he and his family do.  But they just dont understand....I tried explaining the fatigue and they said oh no you're fine....I bet if we replace your coffee with decaf you wouldn't know the difference.  My husband asked me why I was sleeping in the middle of the day....he clearly doesn't understand.  I am with my in laws and I cleaned and swapped 3 rooms yesterday and am paying the price today.  I feel like shit and I am tired as hell but no-one seems to care or understand.....but that's ok.  I am learning to accept their way of thinking and respect their opinions even if I disagree.  They seem to think I can will this away...perhaps I can.....I don't know..anyways....thanks for the support and sorry for the LONG BOOK I just wrote...lol

 

dollface

On Sun, Nov 2, 2008 at 12:51 PM, Smiling Fibros <[email protected]> wrote:

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From: AlbanyLinLin5 Hi Dollface   I'm so glad that your liver is healthy.  And have you also had you Thyroid checked?   This is a tough thing you are trying, and I will be sending postiive thoughts your way.   Wishing you all the best.   LInLin

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