Quite often I check the postings here, more often I do not reply, even if I feel I have something to say... I usually dont reply.  Once in a while I actually leave my postings up on the site by  hitting the send button instead of the cancel button.  I have been watching people on this site learn and grow, especially by sharing their thoughts and feelings with one another.  I find that I have grown with knowledge by reading everything that has been said and shared.  Sometimes I wonder would I grow even more if I am able to share, be able to reflect, show my private and personal thoughts?  Everyone else here does, why can't I?  What am I afraid of?  Is it doubt of what I know to be true?  or is it fear of what I know, have found out about myself?  Or is it really something I "found out"?  Perhaps there was nothing to be found out, perhaps I have known all along but chosen not to believe?  But why? Why would I choose not to believe that I have an ability that isnt as uncommon as I once would have believed?  Once meaning like when i was a child, and I told someone that there was something in my house that kinda unnerved me, they told the principal, principal came to my house to see what was there - and there was no one... except a kid with a very vivid imaginiation - or a kid that needs to have some kind of attention given...  Looking back, is that what it was?  What was it that could have unnerved me?  These are things that I feel are crucial for me to figure out at this time.  Crucial for me to share.  Why now? after all of this time?  I dont know.  I can send it, maybe have it posted for a while.  It will take a whole lot of guts for me to not delete the message.  Perhaps this little brain fart written on site is step one of  finding my voice.  Perhaps with all of this said and done I wont be judged for how I feel... not this time.