Excerpts from the news.

(Some of these could really bug me.)

Weird and Wonderful Reign Supreme in Wacky 2001
By Paul Majendie

When it comes to weird and wonderful, 2001 was a
vintage year for wacky headlines.

It was difficult to know who raised the most laughs --
humans or animals.

Something for anyone unlucky in love:

A Norwegian moose mistook a Ford Ka for a would-be
partner. He licked and dribbled on the car and when
his ardor was not reciprocated, he defecated on it.

An Iranian bridegroom certainly bit off more that he
could chew when, according to custom, he licked honey
from his bride's finger during the marriage ceremony
and choked to death on one of her false nails.

A special for Intense and her potato:

At London's elegant Royal Opera House, about 2,000
ballet fans had to be evacuated after a baked potato
exploded in a backstage microwave and triggered the
fire alarm.

Now for a commercial break:

In China, the tiger turned to man to get a little
magic back in his love life.

A pair of listless male tigers at a zoo in southern
China were administered the anti-impotence drug Viagra
to get them roaring and raring to go.

Now showing:

For the zoo had already found inspiration in a Chinese
research institute which tried to educate impotent
pandas about sex by showing them videos of other
pandas mating.

Take good care of yourself:

Wild life certainly has a wild time in Norway.

A polar bear who is apparently a real health freak
stole toothpaste and vitamin pills after breaking into
a tourist camp in the Norwegian Arctic.

``Maybe he felt he had bad breath after eating seal
all summer,'' said tour operator Arne Kristoffersen.

Now back to our regular program.  Are you lucky?

Across the globe in 2001, Lady Luck certainly struck
in the most unlikely places at the most unexpected
times.

An Australian man nursing a broken leg became a
millionaire when he picked lottery-winning numbers
from his hospital identification bracelet.

A car bomb may not seem to the luckiest omen but it
worked wonders for nearly 1,000 war-weary Colombians.

Marxist rebels rigged a Renault with dynamite and the
story flashed across the evening news along with the
car's license plate. The numbers proved to be winners
in the lottery jackpot.

How is your home life?

A Zambian man divorced his wife after finding a frog
in a cup of tea she gave him.

The nice things we do for others:

Around the globe, offbeat headlines masterfully told
many a strange tale in just one line -- Indian metro
to play music for suicidal passengers, German city of
Cologne sets up drive-in brothels, Try ``Wonderbum''
technology for a perter bottom, New Zealand lambs get
own web sites as cyber pets.

Sources:  Reuters  |  ABCNEWS.com 
Monday December 31 9:03 AM ET

anyone seen my spider? It got loose in a new-age restaurant (it loves greasy food and weak-ass coffee)...oh, i forgot the question:    here it is -----

what bugs you?  ( that means me, if I am the one answering, I guess)...okay....lalalalalalalala...hmmm - I think the substantial thing that "bugs" me - at least the thing I spend any amount of time composing thought about, is the realization of the loss of the innocent age...that age where if I fucked up somebody's pie on the windowsill, or broke somebody's picture window, or ran through somebody's back yard and tore down all the wet laundry - that it was not That BIG a Deal...that age, where things and ideas were still HUGE and big and bright enough that it sure seemed like it'd be Forever to learn anything Real important, like driving a car, or buying cigarrettes, or using that rubbery-looking thingamajig that the older kids usta wave around in the alley when they were talking about somebody named "huuker"...  I'm way too mean, caused way too much pain, extracted much too much blood and guts and death from my past enemies, to have the right to complain about temporal events that "bug" me....mainly cuz they should not, but also 'cuz they really don't.   It usta be guilt - then it was regret - then it was loss of innocence - then it was the feeling that I "missed" out somehow on good year that I instead spent chasing occult nightmares or being chased by them, or performing deeds I knew better than to do...but the single most valuable thing I've gained thru the loss of innocent times...is the realization that I have the ability to "de-bug" whatever does bother me...and that fact, along with the performance of that realization...brings to mind with the memory of those pies, those broken windows and windy summer days where a dream built with bubble gum and grass sprigs and a good friend (4 legged or 2) --- those were wonderous days...and so are these, today. 

and the Gud thing Today, is --- I can drive that car - I can make that pie myself, I can wash my own clothes - and buy that condom...and still enjoy the winter weather in my solitary way...and I look in the eye of that homeless stranger I just gave a random act of kindness to...( a business card for a job, a temporary place to stay, vouchers for food and clothes....an opportunity in risk)...and I know that, even though the child may have grown up and left home for war and misery and poverty and insanity...he's come back home to be child-like once again.

I guess nothing really important bugs me, after all..........

your welcomed, Light Heart.

Love is who we are, no matter what we used to be; Hope is what we need, no matter where we're going.

last thing my old KCD teacher told me 'Afore he croaked (and several times afterward):  teach the children.  It took me a long time to realize what he meant --- that we're all kids, coming in from out of the rain - and going outward to meet the sunshine.

It's going to be a grand day