Spirital Learning Center

Ok...so here we go...hope you can get it !!!...the Air Force Wayt VARIOUS INTERPRETATIONS ON WHY THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD...

Colonel: Successful crossing, well planned and carried out in accordance
with my directives.

Chief: About time that thing worked; hope the Colonel's finally happy.

NCO: Changed two wings, a beak, and removed a bad egg, and the silly thing
still can't fly!

2nd Lt: Look at the pretty bird!

Tower: The chicken was instructed to hold short of the road. This
road-incursion incident was reported in a Hazardous Chicken Road-Crossing
Report (HCRCR). Please reemphasize that chickens are required to read back
all 'hold short' instructions.

Command Post: What chicken?

Air Education and Training Command (AETC): The purpose is to familiarize
the chicken with road-crossing procedures. Road crossing should be
performed only between the hours of sunset and sunrise. Solo chickens must
have at least 3 miles of visibility and a safety observer.

Air Force Special Operations Command (AFSOC): The chicken crossed at a
90-degree angle to avoid prolonged exposure to a line of communication. To
achieve maximum surprise, the chicken should perform this maneuver at
night using NVGs, preferably near a road bend in a valley.

Air Force Personnel Center (AFPC): Due to the needs of the Air Force, the
chicken was involuntarily reassigned to the other side of the road. This
will be a 3-year controlled tour and we promise to give the chicken a
good-deal assignment afterwards. Every chicken will be required to do one
road crossing during its career, and this will not affect its
opportunities
for promotion.

Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA): Despite what you see on CNN, I can
neither confirm nor deny any fowl performing acts of transit. Questions?
Please see the SSO.

Air Force Reserve Command (AFRC): If it didn't happen on a Saturday or
Sunday, we missed it.

Air Force National Guard (ANG): Ditto.

Air Combat Command (ACC): The chicken should log this as a GCC sortie only
if road-crossing qualified. The crossing updates the chicken's 60-day
road-crossing currency only if performed on a Monday or Thursday or during
a full moon. Instructor chickens may update currency any time they observe
another chicken cross the road.

Air Mobility Command (AMC): The purpose is not important. What is
important is that the chicken remained under the OPCON of USCINCTRANS and
did not CHOP to the theater on the other side of the road. Without
CHOPing, the chicken was able to achieve a seamless road crossing with near
perfect, real-time in-transit visibility.

Tanker Airlift Control Center (TACC): We need the road-crossing time and
the time the chicken becomes available for another crossing.

C-130 Pilot: I don't care what it is, just put the damn bird in the back
and let's get outta here.

C-5 Pilot: Chicken?! I ordered a #4 with turkey and ham, NOT chicken!
Besides, where the heck are my condiments?! We ain't taking off till I get
my *&#!%^ condiments!!!

AWACS Crew: Due to our being in a turn at that precise moment, we have no
confirmation of any chickens in the area at that time. Our ACE advises
that such an event is extremely unlikely, in any case.

Fighter Jock: Look, dude, that was what the frag said, OK? I've flown my
1.0 for the day and I ain't got time for any more questions!

F-117 Pilot: Wasn't that great! I snuck up on it at 2 feet AGL at 480
knots, illuminated its tail feathers with the laser designator, and
'goosed' it before it even knew I was there!

B-1 Crew: Missed the whole show: We had an IFE so we couldn't get out to
see it; you'll have to ask the SOF.

Congress: The chicken appears to be an efficient substitute for F-22s!

President (former): I did not have sexual relations with that chicken

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