Once again, The Washington Post has
published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which
readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The
winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person
upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.),
appalled over how much
weight you have
gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope
of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade
(v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent
(adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in
your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a
lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored
mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency
vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a
steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding
hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on
an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified
bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon
(n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a
person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by
popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto
the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.),
an opening in the front of boxer shorts
worn by Jewish men.
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