how do I act normal,knowing what I know,
to treat you like I always did,and smile at you ,like so.
a burden on my shoulders,the nursing staff did place.
when they told me you were dying,a thing I cannot face.
I have to sit and face you,tell you everything is fine,
and watch you as you crumble,and please don't read my mind.
please don't feel the hurt,that I'm feeling deep inside,
I wish this wasn't happening,I want to run and hide.
I feel your eyes upon me,for reasons I can't give,
for you are the person ,I shared my troubles with.
we never kept no secrets,but this times not the same,
I face this one alone,with a heart so full of pain.
how do I look at you and boldly tell a lie,
and know deep in my heart,that you are going to die.
hold myself together,and hope you have no clue,
of just whats going to happen,when its me minus you.
they told me to act normal,when I feel like breaking down,
my body shaking badly,while trying not to frown.
as I catch your eye,you know something isn't right,
I'm not fooling anyone,try though as I might.
the silent though between us,for words there are no need,
the looks just said everything,I want to beg and plead,
I'll pull my self together,and kiss you one last time,
and bid you goodbye my friend,for always in my mind.
brandybutter x
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