this has always intrigued me ~ not really from personal experience, but from watching a couple interact when i was in the air force...i'll try not to waffle too much here.....(you know its going to happen though dont you LOL)
This all happend over a period of about two years.....(about 24 years ago)
Take a girl and a boy, the boy ridducles the girl all the time. She fights back and cuts him dead with a viscious war of words (and wins) everytime. Talking privately to her away from the office she says she actually likes him, despite his behaviour, but she wont be intimidated by him. Talk privately to him and he says he see her and his emotions go out the window and he winds up feeling vulnerable and has to squash that, and its his own vulnerability that makes him so vile towards her - a defense mecahnism, because she always fights back stronger.
this continues, and after about a year they settle into a realtionship, and subsequently they marry and have 3 or 4 children - the couple, i believe, are still together.
what happened ? she underwent a past life regression and learned that her history with the man was violent - not always on his part either. She had been as nasty to him in previous lives, as he had been to her. She learned that the first time they encountered each other she had ridculed him in front of a lot of people in a battle situation and he had stubbornly stuck to his guns in a reaction to that and had lost a number of his soldiers. The next time they met, the role was reversed, and so it repeated down the ages. (not unlike the story of the folks in the celelstine prophecy adventures - in the middle book i think).
after her regression, she she assessed everything to do with the way she and he interacted, and (very bravely i think) went to see him and asked him out to dinner - in the office environment they had to work together a fair bit and she said they couldn't keep on at logger heads at work, or they would neither of them, get promoted. From that stemmed a beautiful friendship that resulted in their very strong marriage.
they were the talk of the camp, and people actually had a book running on how long they would last when they first were married.
I shared all that, because this couple jumped right into the front of my mind as i read your post polly - its not a difinitive answer, just a commentary to think about.
I also think chazz is right, they sense we are different, and whilst they may be curious, they are just not brave enough to come and talk to us so they set up a defense mecahnism.
do we have to dislike those that dislike us? no I dont think so. I saw a powerpoint presentation at work today that was too big to be shared in email, one of the slides was 'what anyone thinks of you as an indvidual is none of your business' - isnt that something worth ponderign. a reminder to think before we judge maybe?
a great thought provoking question, thanks for posting, i think it will generate a lot of questions and thoughts, and i look forward to reading all of them!!
Love Erika xxxxxxxxxx
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