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| | From: Chazz (Original Message) | Sent: 05/06/2007 23:28 |
Hi all, Simple question really, would it be better to tell someone your feelings even if it meant that you would hurt them, or keep it bottled up? Love to you all chazz xx |
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all depends on what you want to say and who you are saying it to, but honesty is the best way to go ,family and true friends would accept you telling them how you feel ,hope this helps love nanaxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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| | From: Wheezie | Sent: 06/06/2007 11:12 |
I agree with Nana. If you tell them in a tactful manner, hopefully it won't hurt so much. Hugs, Wheezie |
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| | From: Chazz | Sent: 06/06/2007 17:43 |
Thankyou, Unfortunately for me though, I don't do tact very well lol! And I'm dealing with someone who doesn't like to hear the truth, So, I decided to sit down and write them a letter..it may need a bit of revising now though...it was a bit blunt and straight to the point! thanks girls love to you chazz xx |
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| | From: Wheezie | Sent: 06/06/2007 17:51 |
Letters are good. They get all your feelings out without being interupted. Good luck with it all. Hugs, Wheezie |
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| | From: Chazz | Sent: 06/06/2007 18:06 |
Thanks Wheezie, I'm gonna need all the luck I can get!! love to you chazz xx |
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Writing is good because it gives them time to reflect a bit before they face you. But I have given myself a philosophy, I don't know if makes any sense to anyone, but it helps me decide when I should be hurt and when I should tell someone off...lol I call it the "whose problem is it" test. The person who has the problem and makes it a problem is the one that should be open to accepting a slap in the face if required.lol The one being presented with the problem, has the right to say how it makes them feel. The one presenting the problem doesn't have the right unless the problem directly involves both of them.... I think I'm getting confusing. Like if your husband is wearing the same shirt for three days, and it's discusting you, but he is cool with it, you can say something, but it's your problem. Not his. So you have a problem and are prsenting the problem. So if he gets offended by you commenting on his dirty shirt, he can tell you where to shove it, because as long as he wants to wear that discusting shirt, it really isn't your business. (this is the taking the slap in the face part) Now, if you sleep in the same bed and the smell of his BO is keeping you from sleeping, well then it becomes both of your problems. I don't know if I make any sense. but I find that this helps me realise when I should and shouldn't say something. Or basically, when I should or shouldn't CARE to say something. Just because it's not worth getting stressed out over. However, if anyone every SAYS or DOES anything offensive directly TO or AT you, then by all means, say whatever you need to because you definately are in the right to do so irregardless if they get upset over it or not. Martine |
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| | From: Chazz | Sent: 07/06/2007 21:25 |
Hi Martine, Well I did get a bit confused, but then it made sense. Well this person does deserve a life time of my wrath, but I've decided they're not worth it. I will write the letter, but also release the pain with it, by doing a personal ritual in my back garden. I will burn the letter, and then empty the ashes into a fast flowing river, releasing myself and them all at the same time. Life's too damn short and I don't want to spend another minute thinking of this person. Thanks for your letter though confusing but interesting read!lol Thanks love to you Chazz xx |
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Hi Chazz what id did when i wanted to say some things to somebody was similar to yours. I sat and wrote in the the word processor exactly what the problm was and how i felt towards them , it felt really good to releease all the pent up anger iw as feeling at the time . I saved it a s aword document then left it for a couple ofd ays yes i was still feeling angry but i soon realsied that this person is not worth the aggro and i felt so relaxed and calm when this thought came along like somebody had removed all the anager strees and pain foprm y body allowing me to let go trace |
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