Take extra care in seeking references

I was fired in February after three years and three months on the job. My boss berated me, then screamed at me to get out. His behavior was uncalled for, to say the least. He claims I quit but an arbitrator sided with me, and I am receiving unemployment benefits. My boss didn't attend the arbitration and we have not spoken since that day in his office. About that same time I e-mailed him to ask him if he'd provide me with a reference, but he didn't respond. I'm beginning to think I should leave that job off my résumé but it's three years of employment down the drain. What can I do to get around this obstacle?

Three years is too long a gap to leave off your résumé. My advice is to leave the information on your résumé and find a work-around for the reference issue.

Since you have already approached your former manager, it is time to find another perspective on your performance.

Think back to other supervisors, colleagues, or customers with whom you worked, and who could speak positively about your performance.

In your case, people who have also left the company are probably a more solid option for a reference than people still at the firm.

Former colleagues who are working elsewhere may be able to speak candidly about your strengths working for a ''challenging'' manager than people who still report to him and whose ability to serve you well may be compromised.

Before approaching any of your new reference targets, look at them -- and your current references -- in a very bright light. Be more specific and ask if a person can serve as an excellent reference for you. There is a big difference between someone who will give you a mediocre review and someone who will sing your praises.

Your task is to find good people who are your external sales force, and to prepare them to speak about your skills, strengths, contributions, and potential. To do that preparation you need to provide them with your current résumé, and highlight areas you'd like them to address.

If there are areas that may be ''sensitive'' (like why you left your former employer), you and your references should prepare a potential statement, and you should take the responsibility for putting that answer in writing.

Providing and briefing your references on your résumé, experience, background, strengths and weaknesses will allow them to be ready for when the calls come in.

I also encourage you to have them call you when they are contacted to alert you to the activity, and to discuss the content of the questions and answers, and if there are any concerns of which you should be aware.

Elaine Varelas has over 20 years of career development experience and is currently managing partner at Keystone Partners, a career management firm headquartered in Boston.