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| | From:  Billy·1 (Original Message) | Sent: 5/3/2008 5:31 PM |
Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing, or read lips.
After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution.
She writes:
'Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time.
If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times.'
The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time.
If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penis fast, two hundred and fifty times. |
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| | | From: Billy·1 | Sent: 5/4/2008 9:01 PM |
A small zoo in Texas had a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to
handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The
gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla
available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton,a
redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby
Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to
satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a
solution.
Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate
with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he
would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he
announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
1. "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper
quickly agreed to this condition.
2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The Keeper
again readily agreed to this condition.
3. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the chil'drun raised as Baptist."
Once again it was agreed.
4. "And last of all", Bobby Lee stated, "You gotta give me another week
to come up with the $500.00."
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omg those are funny  |
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